Song of the week-Bitter Heart by Zee Avi

My song of the week--she's a new Malaysian artist making it big in the US...

Sun rays come down as seen when they hit the ground,
Children spinning around till they fall down down down.
I wait for you: it's been two hours now,
You're still somewhere in town,
Your dinners getting cold.
I rest my case you are always this late,
And you know how much I hate waiting around 'round 'round,
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.
And then you come and tell me the same reason as you did yesterday,
So tell me whats her name.
Doo doo da dum, doo doo da dum, doo doo doo doo doo doo da da dum dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum.
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine.

A great loss to Malaysia...

As I checked my facebook page today, there have been numerous tributes to Yasmin Ahmad.
I am sad we have truly lost an inspiring person and a film director who was a great ambassador for Malaysia in the film scene.

I have not watched all her movies but the ones I have seen like Sepet, Gubra and Mukhsin have always been thought provoking and manages to capture the simplicity of life and addresses the issues which we do not always like to talk about openly.

I will also miss her ads for Petronas which always has a universal message that can be understood by everyone from all walks of life and of every background and gender.

You will be missed and may you rest in peace---"From Allah she came and to Allah she returns"...-Al Fatihah

Let us all make a difference

YOUR support is much appreciated

Love story vs Viva La Vida by Jon Schmidt

A friend posted this music recently and I just fell in love with this piece of music...

On other updates...the weekend is nearly here and the Race for Life run is just round the corner..If you are feeling charitable and would like to make a difference please visit our fundraising page on the left .... We are raising money for Cancer Research and hope to achieve our target of 600 gbp..
YOUR SUPPORT IS MUCH APPRECIATED!

xxx

R.I.P MJ

The last couple of weeks ago there has been media frenzy covering MJ's death and funeral...
His life and death has always been in the media spotlight...

I am not a hardcore MJ fan but I have grown up listening to his music --but there are MJ fans out there who have been devastated by his death...

On Tuesday night , there was a coverage of MJ's memorial funeral service...maybe it's because I'm a Muslim or I have not been following the MJ updates every hour of every day but I found the whole ceremony was somewhat Hollywoodised and more of a show rather than a memorial service.

I saw the last part of the memorial service when Usher started singing Gone Too soon and then Usher started to cry and touching the coffin. I was thinking wtf???! Is this like a scene for a video?! That was enough for me to wonder MJ deserved more respect than this.Maybe I'm being harsh but I just didn't think it was right...something is wrong with this whole setup...

He has suffered so much during his life with the media constantly criticising his every move...and then to have a memorial service -which seemed like a musical show of talents most of the time. Is that right even when he hadn't yet been buried???
I found having a coffin near the stage throughout the whole time slightly disturbing...

To the MJ fans this may be harsh but I felt that he deserved the privacy of a respectful funeral first before having a public memorial service. I hope the kids and the family can be allowed to grieve and not be hounded by the media frenzy which is currently going on..
The memorial tributes should have come afterwards...but who am I to judge...this is just my own opinion...

May MJ rest in the peace wherever you are...His songs will be a legacy and this is one of my fav songs...

Video of the week

Summer is here and to celebrate the good weather here's a song to sing and hum along to...lalalala

"I'm in the room..its a typical Tuesday night...I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like..
She wears short skirts I wear T-shirts, She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the Bleachers
She wears high heels ..I wear sneakers...She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the Bleachers" lalalala

Change for life...

If you had asked me a few months ago whether I ever looked at the calories noted in food packaging...the answer would have been..."what calories..makan je lah..!!"

Maybe since I'm based at DH now I have been more conscious about healthy eating...
At the beginning of this year, I felt that since I'm no longer studying I have more free-time to do the things I enjoy and pursue my interests..

So far this year I have been able to pursue some of those things .One of them was to get back into fitness classes...

Out of the classes I attend, Fight Klub is one of my favs at the moment-the instructor is awesome and so energetic and the music is so uplifting...
I have also started jogging for the first time and it was hard work at first (and still is at times) but the good summer weather in Hyde Park has helped to keep the motivation going..with the additional goal of participating in a charity run just a few weeks away!

At DH, there is a NHS Healthcheck which is an automated service which can provide a quick checkup on the state of your health. I decided to check it out and it is fairly easy and quick to use. The full checkup takes about 20 minutes..The machine works out your BMI, %fat and your bloodpressure. Alhamdulillah, I was healthy but I could lost a few lbs to maintain healthy weight...
I have never been one of those people who weight themselves everyweek..since I thought I would become too obsessed with it and end up not being able to enjoy food.

But my colleague introduced me to a website called www.livestrong.com which is a website started by the cyclist Lance Armstrong. It is an informative website. By using the daily plate tab , you can set your own calorie counter goal and by entering your details , the website can track how much you're eating and counter that with the level of fitness exercise you participate everyday.

I've used the website for a couple of weeks now-although its still fairly early to see whether results are effective it has been really useful. I can track what I eat to even the brand of foods I'm using-it even had milo 3 in 1 as one of its products in the database. The good thing about it is it motivates me to do more exercise-because the more I burn the more I can enjoy the food I like and still maintain my target goal.

With any tools you use : 'you get what you put in' so be honest in what you enter. It has made me realise some of the food I'm eating which I thought was healthy was actually higher in calorie content than I thought. It is certainly teaching me a lot about what food are good for you and which are not as the website also offer healthy alternatives to the food you eat.

It also has an extensive website on the types of physical activites available and the associated calorie you burn if you took part in the activities listed...

The best thing of all about this website is...it is FREE! If you are an i-phone user you can actually have an application which can track your daily routine more efficiently...

So those of you who are healthconscious check out the website and start tracking...

Can you read my pokerface?

Last weekend was the Glastonbury festival and although headlines was filled with Jacko's death and tributes...there were loads of good acts this year..some more surprising than others..
My fav was Lady Gaga's acoustic version of Pokerface-i tried to find the Glastonbury version but BBC have claimed copyrights toit so it can't be watched on youtube...

So alternatively, this is the version she sang in the BBC's live lounge....wicked! She's not just a pop star but this song shows she is a true musician and performer...
Go girl!

Rock on...

When you are in London, you will notice that Londoners often act like 'zombies' during the rush hour in the mornings -many of which will have their headphones or avoiding eye contact and will be in their own world of music/podcast/audiobook reading a London Metro..

I am also one those 'zombies'..and this week was no exception... I had my ipod on shuffle mode this week..and System of a Down -Chop Suey came on which I had not listened to for a while. I first heard this song during Rockband..and the song kinda grew on me...
It definitely was a song that woke me up ready for work...even the first line of the song is..."Wake up! Put on a lil' make up"- if that isn't a pick me up song I don't know what is.... :P

My ex used to go on about this group and attended their concerts (which were a bit too hardcore for my liking). I was never interested in listening to their music...i thought they were just another heavy metal group who just screamed and lots of head banging but I guess this group is slowly growing on me...

I 'youtubed' this group to find out more of their songs and came across this song Roulette which is surprisingly subdued to their normal songs...



And there's a more upbeat song which is definitely a cool song to 'rock out' to in the car...



ROck on!!!!!!!!! Peace!

Melody

My live music of the week....

Place to escape...

I needed a way of venting out my frustration and sometimes anger. Rather than bitching and gossiping to people, I found going to the gym and most recently jogging in the park has helped. I’ve always liked sport but never been a true athlete. At school I preferred team sports like the school hockey team, badminton and netball team. I hated cross country running since we always had to run through muddy terrain and often icy and cold conditions (typical Scottish weather)

Post university life, however, I wasn’t active in any major team sports. As a result, my weight tended to fluctuate up and down which is not good. I went to the occasional gym sessions but was not consistent when I went back to Malaysia for a year. I wanted to go to kickboxing classes at Bangsar but travelling to and fro Sg Buloh and working late in Malaysia didn’t allow me to attend the classes on a regular basis.

I know I will never be able to become skinny even with hours and hours of exercising since I love my food too much. However, it doesn't stop me from staying healthy though..

When I started working in the UK, I got back into the gym classes attending body combat classes. The main reason I liked going to the classes was the music- it’s often upbeat and you can put all the negative thoughts into positive energy through the music. After a few years of doing the classes, I started getting bored though because I often felt were just punching in air so unable to get the maximum impact from the blows.

I’m not a naturally aggressive person but when I’m focused on doing something I want to get the maximum impact in whatever I’m doing so when I’m doing punches and kicks at body combat I felt I was never getting the maximum impact I would have liked.

This year, I decided to be a bit more adventurous so I attended fight club classes which is similar to boxercise where you go through a routine with a punch bag which you share with a buddy or on your own. It’s more fun sharing a punch bag with a buddy because you get to fight against the force of your opponent rather than merely punching a bag. Although music selection is better in body combat, I felt that I can vent out a lot of my frustrations after a long day via the punchbag….and it’s a great workout.

Another way which I’ve found quite good to de-stress is body pump sessions which is not a session you would necessarily sweat but it is good for toning and strengthening your muscles using various weights and cardio exercises. It is another session following rhythm of the music and although you don’t sweat in the session, you are more likely to feel the aches and pains of places where you would never think you would feel pain but it is definitely worth it.
I’m currently waiting for my replacement City of Westminster Resident card which I use to get discounts in the gym so once I get that back I look forward to get back into the classes.

Since summer is here, I decided to go jogging and as a goal I’m aiming to run 5km for charity. This may seem a short distance to some people but considering I’ve never properly jogged for more than 5 minutes on a treadmill I thought this may be a challenge. The first time I tried jogging at Hyde Park, I ran out of breath after 200m ..and I thought how the hell will I be able to run for 5km!

But at least I had a target where I wanted to be and one month on , I’m jogging every two days and running about 5km which I didn’t think I would ever been able to do…
Jogging with my music along Hyde Park and watching the parklife going by helps me to gather my thoughts. Even before I jogged, if I ever needed a place to retreat I would often sit by Serpentine Lake and watch the day go by…

So, maybe this jogging thing is a way for me to escape the things that are going on in my life at the moment…rather than have these negative thoughts I might as well turn this energy into a positive one….

There is always hope....

I missed Banksy's art exhibition which just ended a few weeks ago..so checked out his online photo gallery on his website www.banksy.co.uk...and I found the location in which one of the prints I got was originally taken from...love it...

Some people might view him as someone who vandalises property but I think he's a genius...
Each of his artwork has a meaning either political or just life in general...

I prefer his kind of art than some of the other modern art which we see in galleries today....

If u're out there Banksy...keep up the work..look forward to stumbling upon your work around the streets of London soon...

Wanna watch something different?

In recent years j-doramas have lost their appeal in terms of storyline and manga remakes..Also the actors in the j-dramas are not as appealing as they used to be especially those Japanese F4 actors..eurgh!

For me..No one can ever beat Kimutaku's charm and humour as one of my fav Japanese actors

I have moved on to watching k-dramas..i tend to watch the dramas on and off depending on what's on. The downfall of this is when I really like a drama I could watch the episodes non-stop even not getting sleep-it is sad but true....

There has only been two dramas where I've suffered from sleep deprivation Spring Waltz and most recently Boys Before Flowers (korean remake of the F4 series).

Gu Jun Pyo and Geum Jan Di are great in this drama and so is the rest of the cast. Putting aside the occasional screaming and shrieking and some corny and exaggerated scenes, there are scenes where you just feel sorry for Jan Di making it an unresistable drama to watch...

Below is one of the saddest scenes of all in the drama..the song says it all..

Letting go...

I bought these Banksy reprints at Spitalfields market. Initially , I wanted to buy prints which had a similar theme to it but it was only when I got home I realised it was much more than that...

When I hung it up on the wall, the three prints had a message of its own-(or possibly I was in one of my 'deep thinking philosophical modes..')

Message: "There is a point in life when we need to let that one (be it someone or something) which has been close to our heart go and embark on a journey where we are able to move on in order to receive something much greater in return at the end of that journey..."

Contributing to the community-are you?

In this journey called life, we all need someone to look up to as a role model especially those who are less privileged than us..

I believe that these people often need the support and encouragement in order to succeed.
This is why contributing back to the community in schemes such as mentoring is a worthwhile cause.

I am currently involved in the Business School Mentoring Scheme at my workplace. The scheme is in partnership with schools in the London borough. The school which I was allocated to had been performing badly in the last few years but through the mentoring scheme and dedication of the teachers results have improved tremendously.

The scheme is straightforward, each of us are allocated a mentee who would be in Yr10 or Yr 11 in preparation for sitting the GCSE exams.Once a week or once a fortnight we meet our mentee for an hr session to discuss any areas in their schoolwork which they would like assistance on.

My mentee is Sakina -an Afghanistani girl who moved with her family to the UK nearly a year ago. Before she came to the UK she had been moving between Afghanistan and Pakistan with the family. Sakina is one of the few girls who was lucky enough to receive education in Afghanistan and Pakistan. She was able to learn English through after school activities like the English Club.
This has allowed her to come over to the UK and the education system here.

The purpose of the mentoring sessions are to provide guidance to the mentees in their schoolwork in areas such as Maths, English and Science. Before the scheme, the mentees generally are struggling with their grades so as mentors we try to help by providing tips on studying or ways in which they can improve their work.
The teachers also set up after school sessions to help these mentees and we try to encourage them to participate in these sessions.

From my perspective, it is a rewarding experience as when I meet my mentee she is often pleased to see me and both of us look forward to the session.
Sakina is a hardworker and I can see she wants to achieve big dreams...and I believe her family has a strong influence on her as both her parents are working hard to make something of their lives. Her dad runs a takeaway restaurant and her mom is in college learning English. Her family are lucky compared to the other Afghanistani families who do not have the same privilege.

Couple of weeks ago my office held a Mentor Celebration evening to recognise the achievements of the mentees. Both Sakina and I received our certificates and it was an enjoyable evening where I took Sakina around our office to see what our working place is like.

Mentoring is a rewarding experience and it's not just rewarding for the mentee but as a mentor myself you discover things about yourself and able to contribute back to the community..

It is definitely a worthwhile cause which I will continue to participate in...so if there is something which you enjoy doing-think of ways in which you can do it towards a worthwhile cause..

Life is for sharing

This is the latest T-Mobile ad filmed at Trafalgar Square where Pink made a special appearance..

Life's for sharing indeed....

Perjuangan

Last month , Omar and I attended the Freedom Film Festival organised by KOMAS.
There was an insightful movie called " Sepuluh Tahun Sebelum Merdeka " and I would encourage everyone to watch it with an alternative perspective on what Malaysia could have been and may still be able to be...

This song Burhanuddin Helmy by Black is exceptionally touching with its lyrics...

kuciptakan lagu untukmu
kunyanyikan syair buatmu
tentang perjuangan
tentang pengorbanan

kau yang bertubuh kecil
tetapi berjiwa besar
tegas pendirian
dan berhati mulia

dari utara hingga selatan
lantang suaramu
menentang penjajahan

melawan penindasan

demi untuk negara
demi untuk merdeka
kau sering terpenjara
kebebasanmu dirampas
tapi, jiwamu... tetap merdeka

di atas robohan kota melaka
kita dirikan jiwa merdeka
kata2 azimat darimu
tak pernah kami lupa

walaupun kini jasadmu telah tiada
namun semangatmu membakar jiwa
rakyat malaysia yang tak pernah melupakan
perngorbananmu

It is my song of the week...

Easter weekend in Cornwall

This could potentially be my last Easter break here (if all goes to plan).

There is still one part of the UK which I have not yet ventured which is the southwestern tip of UK in the county of Cornwall....

Cornwall is known to have one of the most beautiful beaches in the UK and is a popular spot for surfers. But I didn't really know much about the place apart from it's local dish which were Cornish pasties...

Eight of us- Edgware Road and d Bayswater crew with Zharin joining us from Liverpool decided to do a road trip to Cornwall for the first time. Ezro (chief organiser) booked us a nice house in the Cornish resort with the aim that we could use the facilities provided in the resort to relax.

While we were 'rockbanding' at no.53 we came up with a number of places worthwhile visiting using the tourguide leaflets Najlaa and Farhan provided for all of us.

And so we were ready to set off:

Day One:Tintagel-Padstow

Everyone surprisingly woke up on time (even Bobby!) and we managed to set off on our road trip on time. There wasn't much traffic (luckily) and we reached our first destination Tintagel Castle (supposedly the birthplace of King Arthur)

Being the jakun people that we were, all of us were asking "mana castle nye...?"-even when we were walking up the steep steps we were still wondering where was the castle..we soon realised that what was left of the castle were just ruins....but the views were breathtaking...

The photo session got underway and we were all clicking away -Bobby had his video cam recording our antics along the cliffs which will be turned into the Cornwall movie..Zharin had his ever loving camera 'glued' to his hand whilst Farhan was trailing behind us sketching in his sketch book to capture the wonderful scenery....

The rest of us were there to soak in the fresh air and sea breeze of the Atlantic Ocean....

We spent probably about 2 to 3 hours there but it didn't feel that long at all because of the sunny weather.

By the time we finished covering Tintagel, all of us were thinking about fooood.....and we walked around the Tintagel village to check out the local delicacies...we saw this cafe with a long queue which is always a good sign....

It was a cafe (probably an old house) with a garden at the back....it was surreal because we were having pasties and Cornish cream tea ( scones with clotted cream and jam with earl grey tea) at the back of a garden on a nice spring day playing with the local cat which looked like the bigger version of 'Millie d cat'...

Next on our itinerary for the day: Visit Padstow
I heard from colleagues that Padstow was famous for its seafood restaurants e.g. Rick Stein's and Jamie Oliver's restaurant are a few chefs who have had an influence in the restaurants around Padstow. A few are highly rated and appear on the Michelin Guide to the best restaurants...

We only had time to have the Rick Stein's Fish and Chips-mine was ok but the guys had the Dory fish which was yummy...

In the evening, we headed to our accomodation which was a house in the Atlantic Reach resort. It was like driving through Pleasantville as all the houses were identical except for the variation in pastel colours found in each house.

It was a self catered accomodation so we headed out to the village to stock up on our groceries...Najlaa and I had our grocery list which will feed the troops for the next few days...It's one of the things I miss living in a house with lots of people. After cooking dinner for the troops , it was time for Ginrami Card session...it's been a while since we all played cards so everyone was a bit rusty. It didn't take long for everyone to bring out the competitive streak...and we ended playing until 2am in the morning -such an addictive game...

Day Two:Newquay
We visited the Blue Reef Aquarium which had received top ratings in the reviews but we were disappointed in what we found. The entry tickets was nearly ten pounds but we didn't think it was value for money since there wasn't much collection to see and the place ain't that big. Nevertheless we made the best of the situation. Personally, Newquay was my least favourite town since it was too crowded and full of groups of people on hen-dos and stag-dos so a bit of a rowdy crowd. The rest of the day we went for a drive to find the nicest beaches around the area but we ended up driving more than we intended. By the time we reached back to our place it was getting late and Najlaa and Farhan became the chefs for the night with Farhan's speciality thai green curry and najlaas ikan goreng masak sambal cili-yummy!

Day Three:Penzance-Landsend
The itinerary for the day was busy since we wanted to cover as much area of Penzance and Landsend as we could...

First stop was St Michael's Mount which over the years had been a monastery to a family home under the National Trust in the present day. If you were lucky , you could spot dolphins swimming around the island at high tide...
When we visited, it was low tide but the views were still amazing. There is a conspiracy theory that Cornish people are descendants from the pirate family but it has not been proven and not widely admitted. But you couldn't help wonder that Cornwall would have been the perfect spot to smuggle things since its strategic position in the mainland.

Second stop was the open air Minack theatre. We heard the views are amazing but we didn't realise that it would be extremely amazing. We saw there was a soft sand beach called Porthcurno Beach. This is one of THE most beautiful spots I have seen in my life. The weather was perfect and we hiked up along the cliffs to reach the beaches. By the time we got there the high tide had come in but we sat for hours enjoying the view. A moment I will remember for a long time...

We then headed to Landsend which is the most southern tip of the UK mainland. I didn't like the commercial aspect of the place as we entered the area. I don't think you need to have outlet shops and amusement area to attract people to Landsend...the natural beauty of the place should be enough to attract people to the area...

By this point, we were pretty tired but we wanted to make the most of the trip so headed to St Ives for dinner-there was a range of restaurants to eat but parking was a problem and the roads aren't the most user friendly roads for a MPV van...we ended up getting take-away: pasties..again!

Day Four: Eden Project-Bude-Sandymouth Beach-London

This would be our last day in Cornwall. Once we checked out-we headed to Eden project-which is a charity with a vision of educating people in ways in which we can look after our environment and ensuring we can have a sustainable future. It was interesting especially the tropical biomes and mediterranean biomes that have built up a typical environment which we can expect in a certain climate. In the malaysian section , they did a good job because it was very similar to us being back in a kampung except animals were missing like the rooster and monkeys..
Unfortunately the weather wasn't pleasant as we got caught in some heavy rain which cut short our trip around the area...

We headed for Bude since some of the guys wanted to buy some souvenirs in the form of scones and clotted cream.... we then headed for Sandymouth Beach which was the rockiest beach we found so far with its huge pebbles..it was high tide so we didn't see any sand. We saw some brave surfers who tried to hit the waves but the waves were too rough and cold for them-the mission was aborted... I respected them for even trying to hit the waters though because it was freezing!

It was then time to go home....the trip was extremely enjoyable : a combination of good company, good weather and breathtaking views....
The trip was complete with our theme song-Lenny Williams -'Cause I love you' which entertained us in the van with the extremely corny lyrics.

Watch What You Say

Recently, a few people have said some hurtful things to me and people that I care about but we do not want to make the situation worse so have kept ourselves quiet.

Some people have taken this reaction as us being 'scared' or 'guilty' which has upsetted me even more...

Maybe it was a 'sign' or mere coincidence but I was sent this hadith this week which sums up that if you haven't got anything better/productive to say or merely want to provoke a reaction from us then please don't bother to say anything at all.....and when we are 'silent' it doesn't mean we are 'scared' or 'guilty' but we do not want to make the situation worse by replying back in a hurtful manner...

Here is the hadith I was sent and would like to share it with you....

Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:
"Let whosoever believes in Allah and in the Last Day either speak good or be silent. Let whosoever believes in Allah and in the Last Day honour his neighbour. Let whosoever believes in Allah and in the Last Day honour his guest."
[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Background
This hadith contains the rulings concerning the tongue and the behaviour of Muslims towards others. It also emphasises that we are responsible for what we say.
Imam Haithami points out that this hadith is very similar in meaning to Hadith 13 that says: "None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." He says that everyone is a neighbour to someone else. Therefore if this hadith is properly practiced and applied, then there will be a strong bond and love within the society or community.

Lessons
The responsibility of the Muslim regarding what he says is mentioned in the Qur'an:
"Not a word does he utter but there is a watcher by him ready to record it"
[Surah Qaf (50): ayat 18].
There are also other hadiths which state that the Muslim should be careful about what he says. His words can either, if they are pleasing to Allah, raise him to a higher level; or if his words displease Allah, they may cause him to be thrown into the Hellfire - as stated in a hadith recorded by Imam al-Bukhari. This shows that what we say can have a direct effect on whether it will benefit us or not.
One hadith (which illustrates the example of a bad consequence resulting from what a person says) states that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said that a pious man from Bani Israel use to see his fellow man always committing sins. On day the pious man swore to the sinner: "By Allah, He will never forgive you." Allah was displeased with what the pious man said because only Allah knows what is our destiny, whether someone will end up in Paradise or Hell. Because of this, when the two men died, the pious man was punished and put into Hell and the sinner was forgiven by Allah. [Sunan Abu Daud]
What we can learn here is that either we say something beneficial and good or else we should keep silent.

There are many Islamic guidelines which help us to say good things and to refrain from saying bad things, or things which displeases Allah subhana wa ta'ala. When we talk to others, whether it is relatives, friends, neighbours, etc., we should select the best terms/words and say them in a nice way. We should ensure that what we say is clear and easily understood. If we are not careful and we do not choose the right words, what we say may be misinterpreted and may lead to conflicts.
As a listener, we have to listen positively and interpret what we hear in a good way. We should not 'over interpret' what we hear; we should not try to 'read between the lines'. Thus, as a speaker we say things in a positive manner and as a listener we interpret things in a positive manner. By doing so Islam encourages us to minimise disputes and conflicts.

If we find ourselves in the middle of a dispute between two people, e.g. between relatives, we should not take sides. We should try to help and reconcile the differences; try to resolve the problems and end the dispute.

If we are being consulted by someone and asked for our advice, we should try our best to give good advice. What we say should help the person and not add to his confusion or doubt. If we do not have enough knowledge and we cannot provide proper advice, then we should keep silent..
Even if we have information which, as a result, may add to the person's confusion, we should keep it to ourselves.


We should keep away as best as we can from unnecessary or non-beneficial talk. People can talk or chat for hours but a lot of what is said is unimportant or trivial and does not benefit anyone. It wastes our time and this continuous talking may even lead us into areas where we might say something which displeases Allah subhana wa ta'ala.


When it comes to saying good things, there are many examples available: dzikrullah (remembrance of Allah), reciting the Qur'an, du'a, giving advice, etc. These are all things which are pleasing to Allah.

When we meet people who are sick, sad, feeling down, in a low frame of mind, etc., we should say things that will make these people feel better, have patience in facing their calamity, be positive, be strong, etc. This is known as al-muasah - to say good things of encouragement to help those facing problems; to not make them panic. The scholars have defined sabr (patience) as 'to refrain from panicking' - to refrain from being out of control - and to refrain the tongue from complaining.
Complaining, e.g. simply saying that the weather is hot, will lead us to impatience; it can affect our attitude and hence our work. If we want to lament we should lament only with Allah. If we do it with Allah it is munajah - it will turn into ibadah. If we do it with others it will be complaining (tashakki) - we will be violating the ibadah itself, which is sabr. So we should learn to minimise and ultimately eliminate the act of complaining.


We should refrain from saying bad things or things which may be untrue. When we hear some news, we shouldn't simply repeat it or spread it without first verifying if the news is true. This could lead to us spreading lies or rumours. We must refrain from:
spreading rumours, especially those that will cause harm to the community.
slandering, back-biting, etc.
sarcasm and making fun of others - this is one of the most common social ills today. It is a sin to make fun of others.


Sometimes we may encounter a situation which involves fitnah or al-fitan. We have to be careful of what we say. There are people who will take advantage of the situation and they may say things which may worsen the situation. When there is fitnah, people are in a panic and might believe anything. That's why we have to be careful of what we say because it may add to the people's fears and problems. What we should do is to help by saying positive things that will give the people hope; to uplift them and motivate them to face the problems; and not to make it worse.

What is important to you?

What are the important things in life?

1. Honesty: It is the key to any relationship...-if you don't have honesty , there is no trust and if there is no trust then..you're heading for an uphill struggle....

2. Communication: Talking is key-not everyone is a psychic -if something is bothering you then you can't bottle it all inside. Frictions occur when people stop talking ..

3. Strong Values: Whether you're religious or not, you need to have values on what is right and what is wrong...therefore if u ever stray the path there is always a way back...

4. Success: It does not necessarily come in the form of money or power...-it may be one of the signs of success but is not the ultimate success...material things can come and go. One day u may be the envy of the world and the next it could all be taken away from u in a flash

5.Happiness: even if you have all the money and success in the world-if u can't share it with the ones u love then it is not worth having. Be happy and content with what you have...

6.Family : the bond between a family can never be broken-families may fight at times but the saying 'blood is thicker than water' is true...we have to be united. Friends may come and go but its the family who are usually there when the going gets tough....and the tough gets going...