The BIG move...

Helllooooo!
I have been missing from the blogsphere world for a while now....
Work had been crazy where I was working on average 55-60 hours a week continuously for eight weeks right up to the Easter weekend.It was a period of up and down both physically and mentally....so glad it's over!

In between work and holidays, I also managed to participate and finish the Bath half marathon...It was truly one of the toughest things I've done in my life and I couldn't have done it without the PTFC supporters and my running buddy!

I've also beeen covering off the places which I'd like to visit in Europe now covering most of Western Europe and parts of Eastern Europe...New additions to the list which I visited was Athens and Istanbul...both cities were similar in terms of infrastructure and boat trips along the Aegean Sea. Personally, I enjoyed Istanbul more especially visits to the Agia Sophia and discovering how superior the Ottomans were during their reign which is still very evident around the city.

The biggest news of the year was announcing I would finally return home for good. People who are close to me would know this had been something I've wanted to do for a long time and due to recent events in the last year I was spurred on to finally make the move.


London has been my second home from my uni days right to my working life as an adult....I have seen friends come and go..mistakes which I've made and heartache but also successes and achievements which I'm proud of. At this point in time, the struggles I had to face have been worthwhile and made me the person I am today.

Since I've made my decision official, I realised that there is no turning back...and it is finally happening. I'm feeling sad to leave the 'family' I've grown to love who have been there and made my stay in London thoroughly enjoyable especially in the last few years when I've been on my own...

At the same time, I know I can't be living in the comfortable 'bubble' forever in London as I get older. People I care at home also need me too and it is time for me to contribute back home....There are various challenges which I will no doubt have to face but I hope as I make my decision to go back for the right reasons...the Mighty one will make my transition back to Malaysian life as smooth as possible....insya-allah....

The year 2010 was going to be the year where I would stop idling and doing stuff which I wanted to do since the time we have in this life is too short to be lazing around and watch the world go by...
Let's hope this will continue!

Bored?

Are you bored of listening to the same radio channels everyday? If you're looking for something more intellectual yet still entertaining....I recommend One Legacy Radio....
Great stories ,lectures on issues we're all concerned about and songs which are refreshing from the usual mainstream music we're all accustomed to...

Check out One Legacy Radio...you can listen to it online or download the application on Blackberry or i-Phone...I have yet to figure out how to use it on my Blackberry but the option is there....


http://onelegacyradio.com/player/

Looking forward to 2010

Welcome to 2010 people! There are a few things I'd like to update but since my 6 yr old laptop had finally died on me--I haven't been able to be online updating blogs etc as much as I would like to..Currently I'm using my work laptop while I save up to buy another laptop although buying a laptop is not in my priority list at the moment. (so i'll be using work laptop for a while...)

2009 has been the year where I realised the truth about certain people and decided to move on with my life---this life is too short to be thinking about the past--if people who you thought were your friends disappoint you then maybe they weren't your true friends in the first place and are just cowards..anyways enough said--

I also realised a few things about family and loyalty but most importantly I learnt to be closer to my faith through the travels that I've been on...

As I have mentioned before in my previous posts--the trials and tribulations in this life can either make u a weak person or you can decide to be the stronger person and overcome these obstacles. Also, being closer to nature and experiencing different cultures and being open minded to other people's customs and environment in different countries opens your heart and expand the mind in order for us to see the wonders of this world....

It has also been the year where I have been given the opportunity to realise some of the goals I had set myself---making my career break, travelling and getting fit.....

2010 will be the year where I finally get to make the move I had been planning for a while now. New challenges and probably more trials and tribulations to come but I have come to realise to accept whatever comes my way...Insya-allah I'll have the strength to face whatever that may come....

I'll try to update more on what I've been up to but for now these are my two songs of the week....
Love it love it....

22

I kinda like this song..it manages to capture the feeling of those in their late 20s/early 30s who haven't yet settled down and going through the Bridget Jones phase..

When she was 22 the future looked bright
But she's nearly 30 now and she's out every night
I see that look in her face, she's got that look in her eye
She's thinking how did I get here and wondering why

It's sad but it's true how society says her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
'Til the man of her dreams comes along
Picks her up and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

She's got an alright job but it's not a career
Whenever she thinks about it, it brings her to tears
'Cause all she wants is a boyfriend, she gets one night stands
She's thinking how did I get here, I'm doing all that I can

It's sad but it's true how society says her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
'Til the man of her dreams comes along
Picks her up and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

It's sad but it's true how society says her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
'Til the man of her dreams comes along
Picks her up and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

Let us all make a difference

YOUR support is much appreciated

Place to escape...

I needed a way of venting out my frustration and sometimes anger. Rather than bitching and gossiping to people, I found going to the gym and most recently jogging in the park has helped. I’ve always liked sport but never been a true athlete. At school I preferred team sports like the school hockey team, badminton and netball team. I hated cross country running since we always had to run through muddy terrain and often icy and cold conditions (typical Scottish weather)

Post university life, however, I wasn’t active in any major team sports. As a result, my weight tended to fluctuate up and down which is not good. I went to the occasional gym sessions but was not consistent when I went back to Malaysia for a year. I wanted to go to kickboxing classes at Bangsar but travelling to and fro Sg Buloh and working late in Malaysia didn’t allow me to attend the classes on a regular basis.

I know I will never be able to become skinny even with hours and hours of exercising since I love my food too much. However, it doesn't stop me from staying healthy though..

When I started working in the UK, I got back into the gym classes attending body combat classes. The main reason I liked going to the classes was the music- it’s often upbeat and you can put all the negative thoughts into positive energy through the music. After a few years of doing the classes, I started getting bored though because I often felt were just punching in air so unable to get the maximum impact from the blows.

I’m not a naturally aggressive person but when I’m focused on doing something I want to get the maximum impact in whatever I’m doing so when I’m doing punches and kicks at body combat I felt I was never getting the maximum impact I would have liked.

This year, I decided to be a bit more adventurous so I attended fight club classes which is similar to boxercise where you go through a routine with a punch bag which you share with a buddy or on your own. It’s more fun sharing a punch bag with a buddy because you get to fight against the force of your opponent rather than merely punching a bag. Although music selection is better in body combat, I felt that I can vent out a lot of my frustrations after a long day via the punchbag….and it’s a great workout.

Another way which I’ve found quite good to de-stress is body pump sessions which is not a session you would necessarily sweat but it is good for toning and strengthening your muscles using various weights and cardio exercises. It is another session following rhythm of the music and although you don’t sweat in the session, you are more likely to feel the aches and pains of places where you would never think you would feel pain but it is definitely worth it.
I’m currently waiting for my replacement City of Westminster Resident card which I use to get discounts in the gym so once I get that back I look forward to get back into the classes.

Since summer is here, I decided to go jogging and as a goal I’m aiming to run 5km for charity. This may seem a short distance to some people but considering I’ve never properly jogged for more than 5 minutes on a treadmill I thought this may be a challenge. The first time I tried jogging at Hyde Park, I ran out of breath after 200m ..and I thought how the hell will I be able to run for 5km!

But at least I had a target where I wanted to be and one month on , I’m jogging every two days and running about 5km which I didn’t think I would ever been able to do…
Jogging with my music along Hyde Park and watching the parklife going by helps me to gather my thoughts. Even before I jogged, if I ever needed a place to retreat I would often sit by Serpentine Lake and watch the day go by…

So, maybe this jogging thing is a way for me to escape the things that are going on in my life at the moment…rather than have these negative thoughts I might as well turn this energy into a positive one….

Letting go...

I bought these Banksy reprints at Spitalfields market. Initially , I wanted to buy prints which had a similar theme to it but it was only when I got home I realised it was much more than that...

When I hung it up on the wall, the three prints had a message of its own-(or possibly I was in one of my 'deep thinking philosophical modes..')

Message: "There is a point in life when we need to let that one (be it someone or something) which has been close to our heart go and embark on a journey where we are able to move on in order to receive something much greater in return at the end of that journey..."

Watch What You Say

Recently, a few people have said some hurtful things to me and people that I care about but we do not want to make the situation worse so have kept ourselves quiet.

Some people have taken this reaction as us being 'scared' or 'guilty' which has upsetted me even more...

Maybe it was a 'sign' or mere coincidence but I was sent this hadith this week which sums up that if you haven't got anything better/productive to say or merely want to provoke a reaction from us then please don't bother to say anything at all.....and when we are 'silent' it doesn't mean we are 'scared' or 'guilty' but we do not want to make the situation worse by replying back in a hurtful manner...

Here is the hadith I was sent and would like to share it with you....

Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said:
"Let whosoever believes in Allah and in the Last Day either speak good or be silent. Let whosoever believes in Allah and in the Last Day honour his neighbour. Let whosoever believes in Allah and in the Last Day honour his guest."
[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Background
This hadith contains the rulings concerning the tongue and the behaviour of Muslims towards others. It also emphasises that we are responsible for what we say.
Imam Haithami points out that this hadith is very similar in meaning to Hadith 13 that says: "None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." He says that everyone is a neighbour to someone else. Therefore if this hadith is properly practiced and applied, then there will be a strong bond and love within the society or community.

Lessons
The responsibility of the Muslim regarding what he says is mentioned in the Qur'an:
"Not a word does he utter but there is a watcher by him ready to record it"
[Surah Qaf (50): ayat 18].
There are also other hadiths which state that the Muslim should be careful about what he says. His words can either, if they are pleasing to Allah, raise him to a higher level; or if his words displease Allah, they may cause him to be thrown into the Hellfire - as stated in a hadith recorded by Imam al-Bukhari. This shows that what we say can have a direct effect on whether it will benefit us or not.
One hadith (which illustrates the example of a bad consequence resulting from what a person says) states that the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said that a pious man from Bani Israel use to see his fellow man always committing sins. On day the pious man swore to the sinner: "By Allah, He will never forgive you." Allah was displeased with what the pious man said because only Allah knows what is our destiny, whether someone will end up in Paradise or Hell. Because of this, when the two men died, the pious man was punished and put into Hell and the sinner was forgiven by Allah. [Sunan Abu Daud]
What we can learn here is that either we say something beneficial and good or else we should keep silent.

There are many Islamic guidelines which help us to say good things and to refrain from saying bad things, or things which displeases Allah subhana wa ta'ala. When we talk to others, whether it is relatives, friends, neighbours, etc., we should select the best terms/words and say them in a nice way. We should ensure that what we say is clear and easily understood. If we are not careful and we do not choose the right words, what we say may be misinterpreted and may lead to conflicts.
As a listener, we have to listen positively and interpret what we hear in a good way. We should not 'over interpret' what we hear; we should not try to 'read between the lines'. Thus, as a speaker we say things in a positive manner and as a listener we interpret things in a positive manner. By doing so Islam encourages us to minimise disputes and conflicts.

If we find ourselves in the middle of a dispute between two people, e.g. between relatives, we should not take sides. We should try to help and reconcile the differences; try to resolve the problems and end the dispute.

If we are being consulted by someone and asked for our advice, we should try our best to give good advice. What we say should help the person and not add to his confusion or doubt. If we do not have enough knowledge and we cannot provide proper advice, then we should keep silent..
Even if we have information which, as a result, may add to the person's confusion, we should keep it to ourselves.


We should keep away as best as we can from unnecessary or non-beneficial talk. People can talk or chat for hours but a lot of what is said is unimportant or trivial and does not benefit anyone. It wastes our time and this continuous talking may even lead us into areas where we might say something which displeases Allah subhana wa ta'ala.


When it comes to saying good things, there are many examples available: dzikrullah (remembrance of Allah), reciting the Qur'an, du'a, giving advice, etc. These are all things which are pleasing to Allah.

When we meet people who are sick, sad, feeling down, in a low frame of mind, etc., we should say things that will make these people feel better, have patience in facing their calamity, be positive, be strong, etc. This is known as al-muasah - to say good things of encouragement to help those facing problems; to not make them panic. The scholars have defined sabr (patience) as 'to refrain from panicking' - to refrain from being out of control - and to refrain the tongue from complaining.
Complaining, e.g. simply saying that the weather is hot, will lead us to impatience; it can affect our attitude and hence our work. If we want to lament we should lament only with Allah. If we do it with Allah it is munajah - it will turn into ibadah. If we do it with others it will be complaining (tashakki) - we will be violating the ibadah itself, which is sabr. So we should learn to minimise and ultimately eliminate the act of complaining.


We should refrain from saying bad things or things which may be untrue. When we hear some news, we shouldn't simply repeat it or spread it without first verifying if the news is true. This could lead to us spreading lies or rumours. We must refrain from:
spreading rumours, especially those that will cause harm to the community.
slandering, back-biting, etc.
sarcasm and making fun of others - this is one of the most common social ills today. It is a sin to make fun of others.


Sometimes we may encounter a situation which involves fitnah or al-fitan. We have to be careful of what we say. There are people who will take advantage of the situation and they may say things which may worsen the situation. When there is fitnah, people are in a panic and might believe anything. That's why we have to be careful of what we say because it may add to the people's fears and problems. What we should do is to help by saying positive things that will give the people hope; to uplift them and motivate them to face the problems; and not to make it worse.

What is important to you?

What are the important things in life?

1. Honesty: It is the key to any relationship...-if you don't have honesty , there is no trust and if there is no trust then..you're heading for an uphill struggle....

2. Communication: Talking is key-not everyone is a psychic -if something is bothering you then you can't bottle it all inside. Frictions occur when people stop talking ..

3. Strong Values: Whether you're religious or not, you need to have values on what is right and what is wrong...therefore if u ever stray the path there is always a way back...

4. Success: It does not necessarily come in the form of money or power...-it may be one of the signs of success but is not the ultimate success...material things can come and go. One day u may be the envy of the world and the next it could all be taken away from u in a flash

5.Happiness: even if you have all the money and success in the world-if u can't share it with the ones u love then it is not worth having. Be happy and content with what you have...

6.Family : the bond between a family can never be broken-families may fight at times but the saying 'blood is thicker than water' is true...we have to be united. Friends may come and go but its the family who are usually there when the going gets tough....and the tough gets going...

Same same but different

This issue has been on my mind for a while but I've never had the opportunity to write it down...

Most of the time , I feel blessed to have the type of upbringing I've had but throughout my life I felt I never quite fit in.

I've always led a nomadic lifestyle ever since I was born-constantly moving from place to place following my dad.

I moved to Rhode Island in the US when I was 7 where I started my kindergarden education. That was the first of many occasions where I experienced being the only Malay girl in a foreign environment having to adjust to new people and new surroundings. I still remember that first day in school where I stood up in front of the class and introduced myself as "Hi, I'm Wati from Malaysia". I could sense most people in my class didn't have a clue where Malaysia was and why my name sounded so weird...
I'm not complaining for the opportunity living in America since my memory of Rhode Island were of happy times.I was lucky to visit places like the White House, Niagara Falls, Disneyland and many others with my family.

After a year in the US , we went back to Malaysia where I stayed in KL for a short while. I attended school at my aunt's primary school in PJ. I experienced culture shock -I cried at my first day at school because I hated the state and smell of the toilets in the school-(it sounds so petty now that I think of it)
In the next few months, my brother and I went for home tuition classes at my aunt's house in PJ but as soon as I was settling down in the school it was time to move again to Sitiawan in Perak. I attended an all girl's convent school but moved to a mixed school as my parents thought it was a better school. My childhood friend I can remember at the time was Ayu- we hung out and played around the neighbourhood. Fun memories but after about a year it was yet time to move again-back to KL.

There, I met other kids in a similar situation as me staying in the armed forces headquarters (MINDEF) and attended Bukit Bintang Girls School (BBGS). I made friends there but I never really had the chance to settle into the school as it was only a few months before the whole family was posted to Glasgow, UK.

If someone were to ask me whether I had close childhoods friends back then-I would probably say no because I never really had the chance to know people long enough to develop that close friendship bond.

Reflecting back on my time in Scotland-it was of fun times most of the time where I had neighbourhood friends who also went to the same school as I did. We were close especially Pat, Vanita, Gemma and I. But, deep down I felt an outsider. I wasn't British and my parents were traditional in my upbringing in that I wasn't allowed to stay up late going clubbing and drinking which were pretty normal in those days for teenagers growing up in the UK.(but saying that I'm sure Malaysia probably has the same teenage scene nowadays-I guess I just had a protective childhood back then)

When I moved to do my A-levels in Edinburgh, I was (again) the only Malay (muslim) girl in the whole boarding school. I made some good friends there but again I always felt I was missing out on knowing what being a Malaysian really is. I often described Malaysia as a wonderful place but did I actually have the right and the knowledge to really know what being a Malaysian really is?

Throughout my childhood when my dad was posted in Glasgow, I rarely went back to Malaysia -maybe once every two years. Even then, it was only during the school summer holidays and stayed with my aunt and spent time with my cousins. It never felt like I really knew Malaysia except for doing the touristy things.

I chose to continue my uni education in London-maybe it was fate but I was blessed to stay in the uni halls where my flatmate was a Malaysian- I met more Malaysians through her,my uni course as well as joining the usual Malaysian clubs. It was an eye opener for me because I never really had proper Malaysian friends before this. My three years at university were the most enjoyable time of my life so far. I felt independent travelling around Europe and learning to live with other people.

My first proper relationship was at university and people found it surprising that I was going out with a Malay. People assumed that I would go out with a Mat Salleh but I was never really interested with British guys-I think the culture gap was too big for me. However, I do understand why Western guys can seem appealing at times as some Malay guys can be insensitive jerks at times (but then aren't men like that anyways at times irrelevant of which ethnic origin they are from?)

Post graduation: due to the work climate at the time I took a year out to go home to Malaysia while trying to get chartered training back here in London.
My year in Malaysia was long overdue-for the first time in my life I was able to spend time in Malaysia for more than three weeks!
Initially, it felt like a holiday-I was able to spend time with my family and I also experienced working in Malaysia. I got a taste of the crazy working culture in Malaysia and met new people other than my uni friends.
I realised pretty quickly that there was still lots of things I didn't know about living in KL- let alone Malaysia.

Soon I felt suffocated-I was used to come and go as I please in London-stay out and meet whomever I wanted but back home it's more restrictive. I needed to account on where i was going, what time I was due to go back. It was like being back in school. I understood that it wasn't because my parents didn't trust me but they couldn't accept that I am no longer a kid and I needed my freedom. Compromise and tolerance was required from all of us in the family to make living bearable and I think towards the end we were close in reaching some sort of compromise.

In terms of my spiritual faith, there were things which I did in the past which i regretted but I tried to put that behind me and my inspiration Moez changed all that for me during that year I was in Malaysia. He inspired me to change my ways and become a better Muslim. I soon realised however, that there were other Malays who didn't understand this side of me. Trying to make your faith stronger should be a sign of a favourable trait in someone but I felt certain people found this off-putting and stereotyped you in a certain category.


When I moved back to London and started working life, I was lucky to have great workmates but there was always this barrier. British working culture revolves around the pub-it's a place where they socialise. We go to coffeehouses or mamak stalls to lepak but here people go straight to the pub on a friday evening. My workmates were understanding when I explain to them I don't drink but again it was difficult to fit into this working environment. At the beginning, I attended all the working drinks but as the years go by, there were times where I made excuses of why I didn't attend the leaving do's or made reasons of why I wanted to leave early.

I often wonder do I fit better in the life here or back home in Malaysia? Even at my current workplace, I am the only Malay girl in a large global firm. Throughout my whole life, I had to adjust in different environments and meeting new people but I can't help feeling when will I feel a sense of belonging?
Does the feeling ever exist? Is there any one out there who had a similar background to me?

I think most people go through life trying to discover their identity. When I read Barack Obama's book "Dreams of my father"-Obama went through life trying to discover his own identity as a mixed race American and fighting the prejudices of people (both black and white) and fighting for what he believed in. In the end,he just learnt to accept that he was who he is and proud of it.

I'm not comparing myself exactly to Obama per se, but what I'm trying to say is everyone goes through life with different background and different life experiences searching for that sense of identity.
Maybe I will never find that sense of identity-I keep on wondering...

I'm hoping whoever I settle down with Insya-allah will learn to accept that I am who I am. Is that too much to ask?

Sincerity

Definition of sincerity:" the quality of being open and truthful; not deceitful or hypocritical...virtue of speaking truly about one's feelings, thoughts, desires"

A word which covers so many aspects in our lives....in our religion, studies, friends we make, family relationships and at the workplace...

No one is perfect including moi...but one thing I've always tried to do is be sincere in what I do- the things I share with people,friendships I make and the work which I do...

I guess I'm naive in my perspective of the world...but I'm finding there are people in this world who doesn't think being sincere is a virtue which they would like to aspire to....

Networking

In the last few months, I've been thinking about the idea of networking and wondered am I someone :
a) who meets people with the intention of creating my networks to pursue my professional career/ personal intentions
b) or do I network with people because I genuinely like them ?

There are social networking sites like Facebook, Friendster, Linked up have managed to bring people all over the world to meet and rekindle past friendships (or not...as some cases may be..) but there is also the more traditional networking methods like going out and meeting new people.

In our childhood, we create our networks through school friends, neighbourhood friends, clubs which we participate in...Some of the people in this network continue to be close friends or merely acquaintances whom we may meet once in a while and bump into each other later on in life.

During uni , we tend to network through social functions,hallmates and lecture mates. Some later become workmates and even soulmates.

In the workplace, we have our professional working network i.e. colleagues, clients that we meet and our social network from sports or leisure activities that we participate in.

So do I network for professional reasons or because I genuinely like the people I meet? Personally, I would only keep in touch with people if I genuinely did like them. Even if it was someone who has good business networking contacts it wouldn't be someone I would keep in contact with if that person didn't have the characteristics I was looking for in someone. You wouldn't want to make business with someone if they didn't have the right business ethics as you right?

We meet so many people in this world with different intentions in life. Sometimes I wonder whether I have the sensibility to identify when someone sincerely wants to make my acquaintance because of me or whether they want something from me?

There are only a few people in this world that we meet in our lifetime who will accept you as you are no matter what you have done in the past or will do in the future.

I think networking is a great thing but one should always have the cautious head at the back of the mind assessing the character of that person. Some people think that by networking we can get people to do favours for us in times of need.

I think that there are situations in life where we may need to get help from someone. I dont think there is anything wrong with that if that person is helping you out because he/she is genuinely helping you because you are a friend. This is all, however, within reason. E.g. if you were looking for a job and had some network contacts you would only be able to recommend that person if you truly believe that person can excel at the job and has the qualities which the employer is looking for. It wouldn't look good and unprofessional if you recommended someone who is truly not capable of completing the task right?

The scenario is different if that person is helping you out because he/she wants something in return afterwards. I think that is pure selfishness. One should give something to someone with sincerity and no conditions attached.

Relationships be it between husband/wife, boss/colleague, parent/child is a 'give and take' relationships. There has to be equal respect for both parties for a successful relationship.

This is the same with networking. There has to be mutual respect for both parties.

In conclusion, where am I? I meet new people in my life and I make their acquaintance if I believe they are good people in character and the networking side of it will come as a secondary thing. I hope that my acquaintance/friendship with them has no time limit or conditions attached to them since my intentions are truly sincere. I hope other people will do the same with me...

Random thoughts

I am writing yet again waiting for my flight to london. It seems like the only time I have these days in updating this blog is at the airport. Just a few random thoughts I have going through my mind...

1. Since I started my new job I've been lucky enough to work in the Middle East- the work has been challenging but interesting. My new workmates are nice enough and as a newbie I am trying to fit into the crowd but what I like in the company is that diversity in the workplace is accepted and actually is seen to be working...well so far anyways....

2.After my assignment I went back to Malaysia to spend Ramadhan back home. It was my second trip back home this year which is a rarity-Since it was Ramadhan I wanted to be at home more but I still met up with my peeps-thanks for taking time out to see me. :)

I'm a bit worried about my parents and where we are staying at the moment. Everyday we hear of news about people breaking into houses and more worryingly killing residents in order to get a few valuable things in innocent people's homes. We already had a group of workers breaking into our house in Sg Buloh already earlier this year. There were about four of them breaking into our house early in the morning as soon as we had switched the alarm off in order to open the windows in the morning. My parents were in Penang at the time but the criminals tied up our maid and my dad's stewards at the time. They crashed our house but didnt manage to take anything valuable since we don't keep anything majorly valuable in the house. Fortunately, the maid and the stewards were released and managed to escape. The criminals fled the house with some of our things but alhamdulillah no one was hurt. But I can't help wondeirng if we're not so lucky next time....

What the criminals didn't know was that their criminal act had been caught in our CCTV security camera which was passed to the police but no one has been caught just yet.

There have been more break in cases in my area and all we can do at the moment is take as many safety precautions as we can like: installing alarms, barbed wire round the house and securty cameras.

This is not a rare case because it is happening everywhere around Malaysia. We have become very wary of people and strangers passing by the house in case they might be monitoring what goes on at our home and when to strike...There are security guards patrolling the area but sometimes even some of the secutry guards are in on the act. Who can we trust nowadays??

3. Lastly I am worried about the way Malaysia is heading at the moment...Malaysia is going through political change as well as coping with the global financial crisis: What I think is sad are the politicians are bickering away on who wants political power and parties talking about having a handover of government. This is all happening at the cost of the Malaysian taxpayers. I wonder when we will see the politicans stop playing their games and actually start getting on in addressing the concerns of the people e.g. the rising cost of inflation, how Malaysia is going to minimise the effects of the global financial crisis and addressing the social problem of immigration in Malaysia.

Someone should be 'man' enough to put a stop to all this bickering and actually get on with the real job in hand....
I wonder who it will be ..if it ever happens....

A sad tragedy…….

Sufiah Yusof is a sad story about a Malaysian girl who had a gift that made her a Maths genius and was accepted at Oxford University at a young age of 13. You would think with the extraordinary gift she would have grown up to do many wonderful things.

Instead, we hear of a sad tragedy of a daughter who was unhappy and parents who might have pushed her too far up to the point she has been claimed of calling home “hell and vowed never to return back with her parents”.

It was thought Sufiah would finally get her happy ending in 2004 when she married a trainee lawyer Jonathan Marshall but unfortunately this was short-lived since they divorced thirteen months later.

Recently, her father has been jailed for eighteen months at Coventry Court after being found guilty for sexually assaulting two girls whom he taught in his home tutoring classes.

The sad story of this family continued when it was found Sufiah had resorted to the oldest profession in the book –prostitution and advertised herself on her website as a sex escort.

So where did it all go wrong?? This girl had a troubled childhood and parents who appear to have never listened to what Sufiah wanted. This had resulted in her rebelling against everything the parents wished for. There have been several times where she had cried out for attention and help e.g. when she ran away to Bournemouth to become a waitress in an internet cafe.

There have been reports that due to the recent incident the Prime Minister’s department and Malaysian Missionary Foundation (YADIM) are trying to provide help in a campaign called “Save Sufiah Programme”. I wonder whether this is a worthwhile campaign.

Firstly, her parents are permanently residing in UK and when her mom was asked to comment on her daughter’s recent activity her comment was "I didn't know anything about that. I am not in touch with Sufiah any more. I have got no comment."

I do sympathise with Sufiah’s situation but until she realises herself she needs help these campaign programmes will be useless to her. I do hope she will be able to get help but she needs to do this at her own accord.

In my own humble opinion, instead of the government spending time and effort saving this girl maybe it is worth thinking about the numerous other less fortunate girls who have no education and have to resort to the sex trade to earn a living in order to survive. It would be a more worthwhile cause if the government would spend more time tackling the root causes of troubled teenagers rather than focusing on this one person.

I hope Sufiah finds happiness in this life and the hereafter but I wish that the government could be as concerned about the numerous other teenagers as they are with this one girl....

Thoughts....

Ever since I was born, I have led what could be associated as a nomadic lifestyle following my dad around. Making new friends and travelling all around the world may seem exciting to some people but it isn’t as glamorous as it seems.

I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the travelling and meeting new people but I found it difficult to discover who I was and what I stood for. Maybe everyone went through a similar thing. Some researchers have said that we only really discover and be comfortable who we are when we reach our 30s & 40s…hmmm that would mean I’m still learning and have a LONG way to go.

As a little girl growing up in a foreign country, living abroad and being different from everyone else was difficult. Throughout most of my childhood years abroad, I was the only Malaysian girl in my class. Trying to fit in with people similar to my age and maintaining my culture and values was difficult. It wasn’t easy combining Western culture and Eastern culture together. Some things I did better than others.

Moving from place to place made it harder for me to fully trust people other than my family. It was difficult getting close to people when I know that I might be moving to another school in another town or country.

Studying in London for university enabled me to develop more of my Malaysian identity by meeting friends who I know some of them will be friends for life. It was hard at first to fit in being the Malaysian who lived abroad-people sometimes can be judgmental and have a stigma of ‘budak melayu duduk overseas’.
But that’s when you discover who your real friends are and meet people who can just accept you for who you are.
I wasn’t perfect and probably will never be but I still try to do the best I can and try to keep to the values which I think are important.

Working in London has meant seeing people come and go… and it is still difficult for me to trust and get close to people because I know that by the time I get close it will be time for them to leave.

2008 may be the year where big decisions will be made and maybe I can finally feel settled, be happy and not have to move around anymore. Insya-allah….

When you fall, pick yourself up again....

A sweet colleague of mine recommended I watch this on youtube...and although I'm not a Rocky fan watching this clip gave me a boost up.....



So for those of you who need a bit of a push..watch the link below.

Road to nowhere?

Music is my escapism......

"No Roads Left"-Linkin Park

Standing alone with no direction
How did I fall so far behind?
Why Am I searching for perfection?
Knowing it's something I won't find

In my fear and flaws
I let myself down again
All because


I run
Till the silence splits me open
I run
Till it puts me underground
Till I have no breath
And no roads left but one

When did I lose my sense of purpose?
Can I regain what's lost inside?
Why do I feel like I deserve this?
Why does my pain look like my pride?

In my fear and flaws
I let myself down again
All because
I let myself down
In my fear and flaws

I run
Till the silence splits me open
I run
Till it puts me underground
Till I have no breath
And no roads left but one
No roads left but one

In my fear and flaws
I let myself down again
All because

I run
And the silence splits me open
I run
And it puts me underground
But there's no regret
And no roads left to run

Bring on 2008

I haven’t been updating this blog since I’ve been trying to sort out a few things in my life recently.

Have you ever had the feeling where you feel down but trying so hard to be positive in life and coming up with the next life time plan? I guess that’s when our faith is tested the most.

When I was younger I had a lifetime plan of where I would like to be but things do not often happen the way you want it to be so I have to constantly revise the plan. The One above may have another path set out for me….we can only plan what is best for us but it is He who decides….

During the New Year period, instead of looking forward to the partying like when I was younger I find myself in a more reflective mood these days. It may appear like I’m a right old grumpy woman! Aaaarghhhh...that’s not who I want to be…..

A holiday break is always a good time to relax the mind and take our minds off things ….

I went on my first hiking trip with London peeps…if I was to be honest I didn’t think I would reach the top with the rest of the group. But we all plodded on and it was an achievement in itself to reach the top. It was another thing going down the mountain which was the scariest part for me out of the whole trip….at one point I thought I was going to fall off the mountain. In the end, I was thankful to be able to walk on flat ground once more. I would say it was a character building trip where you find out more about people and things about yourself and surprise yourself at times in what you can achieve. An adventure trip which I may like to do again but I will need to prepare myself both mentally and physically for the next one if I ever go again.

After a day recovering (with still some aches and pains from the previous trip!) went for a chill out break to Belgium and Luxembourg for a few days. It was a more relaxing trip compared to the adventure trip a few days back…different but still as interesting.
My last trip to Belgium in ’99 with Suz and Giac was more about spending time with Umberto, his sis, Giac and his friends. This time, the trip was more about looking at the tourist sites I missed last time. Thanks to Chip’s GPS (my map reading skills isn’t exactly the best), I think we managed to cover pretty much most of the sites since the places weren’t that big.

We also visited Luxembourg which is one of the smallest countries in the world. I think the country is basically built up around a fort on a hill. A small country but has a certain “Je ne sais quoi” feeling about it. As we were walking near the casements area there was a mystical feel about the place as there weren’t many people around. It was like going back in time where I tried to imagine what people during those times would have had to live in that type of environment. Maybe my imagination was trying to get the better of me! :P

New Year’s Eve was low key this year watching the London Eye fireworks on Primrose Hill. So have I set myself any resolutions? Well, all I wish for everyone is to be happy with themselves and be grateful for what you have.

“A relaxed mind, a peaceful soul, a joyful spirit, a healthy body and heart full of love” –that’s all we can wish for everyone!

So here’s wishing you a Happy New Year for 2008!

Beauty of a woman

If only people didn't judge a book by its cover but rather what is inside. My cousin forwarded this to me which I thought was sweet hence I'd like to share this with you.....

~~Beauty of a Woman ~~

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,

The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a
woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,

The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial
mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the
caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty
of a woman
With time, only grows..

Please think about it....

Year 2007..here we go!!!!

'Ello peeps...
Came back from Italy last night so haven't had a chance to update my blog just yet..
I wanna share this message my friend sent me to celebrate the year 2007...:)


"This is a toast to us, gorgeous ladies for 2007!
For the men who have us
The losers who had us
And the lucky guys who have yet to meet us... :p
Have a wonderful year ahead babes and stay gorgeous"

Happy New Year everyone!!


I'll update my trip to italy soon.....