Something to ponder..

"Fix You"-Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

when you love some one but it goes to waste could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below

When you're too in love to let it go

But if you never try you'll never know

Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face

When you lose something you cannot replace

Tears stream down your face

And I

Tears stream down your face

I promise you I will learn from my mistakes

Tears stream down your face

And I

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you.

Memoirs of a Geisha

Usually one would read a book before watching the movie but I did the opposite for Memoirs of A Geisha. So which was better?

First of all for those of you who haven't seen it( why not?!!) the basic plot is as follows. The story focuses on the life of a young girl Chiyo who came from a fishing village. Due to her parent's poor health Chiyo and her sister (Satsu) were taken to Kyoto. Chiyo was separated from her sister and was taken in by an okiya owner known as Mother.

Chiyo lived in the okiya with another girl similar to her age called Pumpkin and a Geisha called Hatsumomo. We learn of the struggles Chiyo faced as she is badly bullied by Hatsumomo. Chiyo tried to escape from the okiya to run away with her sister but was unsuccessful.

As her punishment, Chiyo had to serve as a maid to repay her debt to the okiya but a geisha called Mameha came to her rescue and Chiyo ( who later became known as Sayuri) became Mameha's apprentice. The love interest is between Sayuri & the Chairman. I won't spoil the ending for you if you haven't seen it already but I'm sure you can guess what happens.

The movie had wonderful cinematography but I felt there wasn't much chemistry between Zhang Zi Yi and Ken Watanabe( who is cute by the way! i think he was in the Last Samurai ). Fortunately, Gong Li,acted the part of Hatsumomo convincingly.I did sympathise with Hatsumomo because she was so insecure of herself and threatened by Chiyo up to the point that she was willing to make Chiyo's life as miserable as possible.

When you read the book you can "sense" the build up of the tension between the Chairman and Sayuri. I didn't feel the movie managed to recreate this tension in some of the scenes. Another example would be Sayuri's relationship with Mr Nobu.In the book, Sayuri was fond of Nobu in a platonic way but we never see the friendship developing further in the movie.

Some people may say that the book is boring at places because of the slow pace but I would have to disagree. I think this only adds to the atmosphere and mood of the story. The movie had edited many of the scenes in the book which is understandable because there's only so much you can fit in a movie. It is a shame though because personally some of the scenes especially the ones in Sayuri's later life would have added more depth to the movie.

So would I recommend the movie? Yes, even though I felt the movie wasn't as good as I thought it could be, it made me want to read the book. The book is definitely a good read (kept me entertained on my train journey from Slough to London this week!) The writing is brilliant and I felt that I saw a glimpse of the highs and lows of a geisha's life.

I would recommend you to see the movie and read the book too if you haven't already done so. Even if you have already read the book after watching the movie you will want to read it again. :)

The next movie I'm looking forward to is the adaptation of Dan Brown's book "The Da Vinci Code". I hope the director and cast can live up to the high expectations of the book. Watch this space...

Soulmates...do they really exist?

People my age are starting to think about the future and settling down...some of us have been lucky in finding " the one ". But what about those of us who are not so lucky because of relationships which didn't work out?? This reminds me of an episode in Friends when Phoebe talks about finding your "lobster" whereby each lobster has a soulmate.

Is there really such a thing as finding your soulmate?? What if we think we found our soulmate but things didn't work out ...will we ever find another soulmate??

Nowadays, there are increasingly higher rates of marriages failing...I guess there are no guarantees. A happy marriage is not something that happens automatically, it is something which both people in the marriage have to work at to make it work.

I hope that when I settle down that person is firstly a good Muslim, caring, kind, funny and someone that I see myself growing old with..... Will we ever find our "lobster"???

Part 2

Here goes for my trip back home part 2...

I celebrated Raya Haji with my bro and kak nor this year. My parents were doing their Hajj pilgrimage in Mecca..alhamdulillah they were safe and their Hajj went smoothly.
Usually during raya we would gather at Mamapam's place but this year Babah & Mamapam spent Raya at Babah's hometown in Perak. So it was a relatively quiet Raya..went to Kak Nor's relatives house and Che Kah's house.

Len ( my dad's friend) was in KL for a business trip with his partner Marigold. Since my parents weren't around my bro & i jadi wakil to meet up with them. My bro was tied up with work so I met up with Len & Marigold for dinner at Mandarin Oriental. The views from the restaurant was pretty but the food was probably a bit too posh for me...hehe I'm not used to all this fine dining stuff.

Marigold had lived in KL when she was a little girl as her father was part of the British High Commission during the critical time when Malaya (as it was called before Independence). She was reminiscing on her childhood in Malaysia.Her father was good friends with Tunku Abdul Rahman and Marigold was lucky enough to have met Tunku Abdul Rahman before he became our First Prime Minister in Malaysia. I was so impressed because she had met one of our great leaders in the country.

In my last weekend in KL, I attended one of my good friend's wedding Lini with Yana. Her akad nikah was on Friday at her home in PJ. Lini looked beautiful...berseri as a pengantin should be :) The akad nikah went well and Mizan only had to say his lafaz once which was impressive.

After Lini's place Yana decided to visit Meddy in Ampang. It was already pretty late by then.. but we decided what the heck we'll just go anyway. My sense of direction in KL is especially bad but luckily the roads were pretty much quiet late at night so we managed to get to Meddy's place with little trouble. It was good to catch up with Meddy and Shasha and we only left their place about 3am!!

Lini's wedding reception was held later on that night at Perdana Felda. Yana & I decided to go to Meddy's place and we got ready there. It was a beautiful reception and it was nice to catch up with friends there. Lini & Mizan looked lovely and they looked happy together..awwwww... :) I wish them Selamat Pengantin Baru and semoga bahagia hingga ke anak cucu......

On my last Sunday in KL, I met up with my friends for brunch..thanks guys for coming!

Then I went to Mamapam's place for Sunday lunch..Che Kah masak kerutuk daging and there were also other lovely dishes (too many to name) cooked by Che Kah & Mamapam...yummy!!! I'm definitely gonna miss all this back in UK.

Time flies when u're having fun

I arrived back in UK yesterday. I had a wonderful time as always. It would have been nice if my parents were in KL a bit longer but it's ok..I was lucky enough to meet Nuqman and spend time with him and the rest of the family. At least the little kid dapat jugak tengok muka aunty dia ni yang kat London..who knows when I'll see him next.

I also went to Melaka which was a road trip the girls and I have been planning for a long time...since we graduated all those years ago! Amanda (a.k.a. Panda)was a wonderful host...showed us her hometown and all the good eating places to eat...it was like we were doing a "Jalan Jalan cari makan show" in Melaka.

We started out by going to Amanda's place and then headed down to the centre of town for Nyonya food at Makko's. Excellent food...we thought as four girls we ordered too much food but all our plates were empty by the end of the meal. We did burn "some" of the calories by getting some cheap DVDs and walking around the old shop houses area in Melaka where there are a lot of craft shops.





Panda brought us to try fresh soya bean which was different that the usual one because it had hints of ginger in it. I wasn't sure whether I would like it with the ginger but I was pleasantly surprised.

We then took some tourist photos at the Dutch buildings ..it was weird to see a windmill in the middle of Melaka.Before dinner we stopped over to buy some putu mayam( i think that's how it's spelt) and also tried the freshest iced coffee I have ever tasted...kalah Coffe Bean and Starbucks!

The "piece de resistance" was the ikan bakar place we went to for dinner. I think the place was called Medan Ikan Bakar Sri Duyung in a really remote spot in Melaka. The food was amazing...I wanted to have some more of the fish but my stomach couldn't take anymore..and I had my kangkung belacan and sotong goreng...all time favourites!!!

Our last stop before heading back to KL was the famous Bee Bee jam tarts...one of the best places to get jam tarts in Melaka. If ur planning to get ur bulk supply of jam tarts u have to order well in advance. The Bee Bee house smells of jam tarts all day... and there are people constantly preparing fresh jam tarts pratcially 24hrs of the day. We managed to get some last minutes jam tarts to bring back. Damn sedap!

All in all a great day trip to Melaka. Since it's only abt 1.5-2 hrs from KL I'd definitely go there again.Cher-ryl and Anisa weren;t able to join us but we will definitely be making a return trip there.

I'll update the rest of my trip in my next blog...now I'm trying to get to sleep to get rid of my jetlag. Nite nite people!

2006:What lies ahead...........

Hi everyone,

Well, I've been back for nearly a week now. I spent the first few days with the family and sent my parents to Haji. I didn't expect sending them off for Haji would be so emotional but I guess I got caught up in the moment. Maybe one day we can go for umrah together as a family.

The last few days I've been going out and meeting up with frens and relatives. I went to my niece birthday party last Friday which was good fun. The food was delicious catered by one of Abg Nizam's frens. I especially loved the trifle..yummy! The kids were entertained by Kak Ina as the games organiser. I will put up pics soon.

I met up with my fren for New Year's at Hilton KL . Food was good but music could have been better. They played house music which was terrible to say the least for the first couple of hours but luckily played R&B music towards the end.

I've also been able to spend time with my adorable nephew. He loves to smile!! cute sangat!!!!! Unfortunately his health is still not good...he is still wheezing due to problems in his lungs and chest area. He may need to undergo physiotherapy in the chest area. Let us all pray that he gets well soon.

So we are now in 2006.....new year's resolutions...hmmmm well I've never really been a person who comes up with New Year's resolutions cuz I probably would not stick with it..hehe.

But if I really had to think about it my New Year's resolutions would be:

1. Be a better person e.g. patient with others and be more tolerant towards other people.

2. Be healthy and live a prosperous, happy and successful life

3. Meet someone who can love and accept me with my good and bad sides along with my background

Wishing all of you a Happy New Year 2006!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Flying on a jet plane....

Sorry I haven't updated the blog for a while.

These last few weeks have been hectic to say the least i.e. work, xmas parties and meeting up with my peeps.

I've been away in Colchester this week for work. Based on what my client told me Colchester is one of the oldest towns in UK and was built up by the Romans all those years ago.

Unfortunately due to job deadlines I didn't really have much time to tour around the town.

On our first night in Colchester my colleague and I went out for Christmas dinner at an Italian restaurant. It was one of those random nights.

First of all, my colleague and I got lost walking to the restaurant. I am really bad at directions except if I can remember landmark buildings. So if you ask me to read an orientation map...sorrylah there is a high probability I will get u lost! hehehe...

Eventually (after a lot of walking around going in circles).. we reached the restaurant and sat down for a Xmas dinner. Suddenly this waiter comes up to me and asked where I came from. I said I was Malaysian and it turned out the waiter was Malaysian too but he had not been back for 35 years!!!!! A rare coincidence to meet another fellow Malaysian in a small town like Colchester.

Throughout the night he would come up to our table for a little chat and we discovered a lot about this interesting guy. His dad was in the Air Force and later brought the whole family to settle down in UK 35 years ago. He attended school in the UK and left school to train as a waiter in one of the top hotels : Dorchester Hotel. He then continued to work in cruise liner ships and moved to Florida to work in the restaurants in Disneyland. He now owns a house in Florida and planned to settle there but had to come back to UK in order to send his son to college here due to some family problems. I asked him whether he would ever settle down in Malaysia again.

He said at this moment in time..the answer is no because he felt that he was Westernized and couldn't adjust back into the culture and life in Malaysia. I felt sad for him because he no longer feels Malaysia is his home anymore.

For me...my heart will always be in Malaysia and I consider it my home. It's strange because if I look back at my life ...12 years of my life has been in UK yet I still feel closer to life in Malaysia. Maybe it's because of the way I have been brought up. Despite all the negative things we often complain about Malaysia i.e. mentality of some people in Malaysia, the non existent work-life balance I feel more at ease settling into the culture and life in Malaysia than in UK. At this moment in time..I still see myself settling back home in maybe three or four year's time.

Who knows...only time will tell.

Anyways, this time tomorrow I will be flying off on a jet plane back home to KL to see my beloved ones for three weeks....So those of you in KL, insya-Allah we will meet up sooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brighton Trip

I've been planning to visit my good friend Anisa in Brighton for a long time. Finally, after a hectic few weeks I've managed to arrange my visit to go down to see her.

By the time I arrived in Brighton, it was already pitch black. This is one thing I hate about winter ...the days are shorter!! Also, it was damn cold!!!! I regretted not bringing a thicker coat.


We went back to Anisa's hall campus at Sussex Uni. It is soo different and more scenic than LSE. I've never experienced campus life because LSE was in the middle of Central London. Living in London, I have done my fair share of walking but in Brighton we walked practically everywhere. You can really become fit because there are a lot of hills and steep slopes everywhere.

After leaving our bags at her halls. we went out to see the nightlife in Brighton. We walked down to Brighton Pier and had dinner at Harry Ramsden's...the fish & chips was damn sedap because the fish was soo fresh!

Then we went to Brighton Marina and took pictures at the Royal Pavilion. The Royal Pavilion was my fav building in Brighton because the architecture is different from any other building I've seen in UK so far. The dome and the way it was built had an Eastern feel to it.
We came back about 11pm and I was pretty knackered by then and went straight to bed since I didn't get much sleep the night before.

The next day Anisa wanted to bring me to a place called Seven Sisters Country Park which was a 50 min bus ride from Brighton on the way to Eastbourne. We woke up early to catch the bus but it was a worthwhile trip. As soon as we stepped out of the bus I felt like I was no longer in the city. The air was so fresh and there was green scenery everywhere.



We followed the path trail set out by the National Trust. A word of warning to any of you who decide to go hiking or walking in any of these country parks..make sure you bring a warm coat, a pair of good boots and be prepared to get muddy!

The path trail led us to Seven Sisters Beach...it isn't one of those beaches you can sunbathe in but the scenery leading to the beach was breathtaking.

We were lucky the weather was kind to us..I can't imagine walking up the path if it had been raining.



After we reached the end of the trail we lepak and had some snacks on the pebble beach. To be honest , pebble beaches aren't the best place to walk on cuz there are stones everywhere but it was actually not too bad to sit on.

After the trail walk we headed back into Brighton city centre. I slept on the bus most of the way back but once we reached the city centre I was ready to do some shopping. Shopping in Brighton was great, there were loads to choose from and there was a soo much variety. I think it was because the city is tailored towards tourists.

After that it was time for me to head back to Slough. It was a lovely weekend to catch up with Anisa. Brighton is a lovely place and next summer I will be going again to check out Brighton Beach.

Alright, I have to do more packing as I'm going to Leeds tomorrow for work. Another hectic week ahead......................

Make Poverty History-Is it really possible?

Many of you may remember the slogan " Make Poverty History " wear everyone was encouraged to wear the white bands, Live 8 concert and attending the march in Edinburgh during the same week as when the G8 summit was held in Gleneagles in Scotland. There are some of you who may wear the white band as a fashion accessory but I hope that most people wore it because of what the white band stands for.

So...Make Poverty History..is it really possible?? I went to a talk by the Director of Oxfam in UK (Barbara Stocking) earlier this week who is one of many people that believe it is possible.

Make Poverty History has been a long campaign but 2005 is a special year as many charities, NGOs and various organisations came together to make the world leaders listen and actually start taking action in eradicating poverty.

Ok, we know that we will never be able to eradicate poverty altogether but there are many children dying of hunger because of extreme poverty and we all need to do something about it before it's too late.

What is Make Poverty History campaigning for?

It's fighting for three main things: More aid, Fair Trade and eradicate debt of third world countries.

Currently, we need GBP 50billion a year of aid money. It may seem a lot but if we put it in perspective GBP1 trilion is being spent on arms a year. I'm not against the armed forces (my dad is in the navy) equipping themselves with arms and security equipment in order to protect the interests of the people of the country. But if we can spend a significant amount of money on arms..surely we can spare some cash for aid too.

So how successful has the campaign been?

Debt relief: world leaders have accepted that multilateral debt should be written off but no action has yet been finalised by the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and World Trade Organisation (WTO).

Aid Money: by 2010 it was decided that GBP48 billion aid will be given. It isn't the best outcome as 2010 is five years away...how many more innocent people will die by that time???

Trade justice: this is the most difficult part of the deal. We shouldn't get confused with free trade and trade justice. Trade justice stands for:

• ending export subsidies
• opening trade borders
• enforcing laws to stop big multinational companies profiting at the expense of local people and the environment

Even before the G8 summit took place, world leaders had decided to get rid of export subsidies and this was reaffirmed again in 2005. Unfortunately, no set timetable was set. This isn't an easy thing to solve because eradicating export subsidies would mean farmers and similar people working in agricultural industries may suffer. e.g. agriculture industry in Scotland, cotton farm industry in America.

The WTO 2005 summit will start on 13 December in Hong Kong and we hope that these issues will be discussed and we can make progress and move forward.

What difference can we make?

Well, eradicating extreme poverty won't be something that can be solved overnight. I do agree that Making Poverty History is possible. It will not be easy but it we put enough pressure and keep the public engaged and interested in the campaign we may have a chance in making a difference.

Somerset House Ice Skating

Ice skating has always been one of the things I wanted to try out and today my wish was fulfilled. I've watched the world ice skating ice championships on tv before and always been amazed at the moves and choreography on ice from people like Torvill & Dean ( former British champions)


Well, I'm a LONG way off from doing those moves but I wanted to try a bit of ice skating for myself. So..I dragged my sister along to join me for a skating session at Somerset House.
We arrived at Somerset House in time to get our skates and take in the views and music at Somerset House courtyard.

Finally the moment came where we were allowed out on the rink. The ice rink was not as big as I thought but nevertheless it was a lovely setting. Ice skating is a bit like learning to ride a bike for the first time. When you first set off on the rink, you feel that you have no control on what you're doing and feel a little bit scared. During the first few rounds, there were a few times where I fell over and I was holding on the bar as if my life depended on it! hehe...

Then I started to get my balance and actually started enjoying myself. Liani and I even managed to skate in the middle of the rink but we were moving at a slower pace than everyone else on the rink so got in the way of a few people..oops!

The hour session flew by and before we knew it, it was time to return the skates. I really had a good time and it will definitely be something I will try again. If I ever get the chance I would also love to go ice skating at Central Park, NY :) Until then.........

There's always a first for everything.........

First album I bought: Aishah's first album....bought it cuz I liked the song "Camar Yang Pulang" at the time..I still listen to it occasionally.

First crush: In Sitiawan,Perak... I was nine and fancied one of my bro's mate at the time...my friends and I would often cycle pass his house to check him out.. he must have thought we were stalkers or something...hehe(sounds so embarassing now when I think of it now..)

First job: Worked part time at Greggs Bakery in Bayswater for a year. Felt a sense of independence earning my own money, met some cool people too plus dapat discounts on the savouries & muffins...yummy!!!

First food disaster: At school , we had Home Economics class and I had to bake scones. The class is abt 45 mins so we had to prepare the dough and bake the scones within the timelimit. I had prepared my scones and was quite proud that it looked pretty good when I took it out from the oven. Gave it to my friends to try out my scones during lunch but it didn't get the response I was expecting. I had put salt instead of sugar in the dough when I was preparing the scones. I haven't baked anything ever since that day! hehe...

First car:I didn't actually sit for my Malaysian driving test until I graduated from uni. My first car would be my little grey Perodua Kelisa...lovely car...my pride and joy. Felt really sad when I had to sell the car earlier this year. Hopefully I'll be able to get another one soon.

First memory of holiday with the family: When I was 7, we went to Disneyland Florida & Universal Studios ..had the best time. Love the rollercoaster rides...would love to go back there again someday.

First holiday with friends: Went to Brussels in winter of 1999 with Giac & Suz...it was absolutely freezing but had a good time nevertheless..chocs & Belgian waffles. Returning to london, we had missed our scheduled flight back to so we had to spend a night at Brussels Airport. We didn't really get much sleep since the airport didn't have the most comfortable benches to sleep on. We kept ourselves amused by playing with the airport trolleys and running around the airport like maniacs...! hehe...those were the days....

First music gig: When I was fourteen or fifteen, I went to an Innuendo concert held at the Hippodrome, London with my bro & gf at the time. Innuendo were one of the first malay R&B groups who can sing..."Belaian Jiwa"-classic song..one of my fav songs. :)

First music festival: Party In the Park organised by Prince's Trust. It was the first Party in the Park...heard so many acts perform live..Backstreet Boys, Christina Aguilera, Destiny's Child and many more but my highlight was listening to Bon Jovi singing live.
I would love to go to other festivals i.e. Glastonbury & V festival.

Smarter without Violence

"Smarter without Violence"- This was the slogan which was being promoted by the charity Middle East Non Violence & Democracy (MEND UK).

I attended a talk organised by LSE on " Children & Women in Palestine " which marked the launch of MEND UK. The main aim of the charity to tackle the problems in the Middle East via non violence measures.

There were five people speaking on the panel:
1) Robin Kealy( Chair Panel ) : Consulate General for Jerusalem in 1998-2001
2)Hind Khoudy: Minister of State of the Palestinian Authority
3)Lucy Nusseibeh : Director of MEND
4)Dana Abdul Fattah: a 15yr old Palestinian girl who participated in the MEND program

The talk touched on four main themes:
a) The current situation in the West Bank and Gaza
b) The cultural background/history behind non violence campaigning
c) Origins of MEND
d) the difference MEND has made on the people who have participated in the MEND programs

It was interesting to hear the various speakers:

a) Hind Khoudy gave us an account of the difficulties Palestinian children and women are faced living in occupied territory. Nearly half the population are children and women. In this long suffering conflict it has been the women and chldren who have suffered the most.
Jerusalem is the worst affected area where Israeli troops have tightened restrictions thus making it difficult for people to travel from the West Bank into East Jerusalem.
Doctors and teachers who live in the West Bank will need permits to go to work in East Jerusalem.

The education sector has also suffered where children who live in West Bank are facing difficulties travelling into East Jerusalem to attend school. My 2 hour journey commuting into work doesn't seem so bad compared to what these people have to face in their everyday lives.

Due to limited resources there are also not enough classrooms to accomodate these children. As a result families don't send their kids to school.
Children are not getting their education and are resorting to drugs and violence. This is a growing problem as children are feeling confused, unwanted and have no sense of belonging.
This aggravates dissatisfaction and can lead to hatred which has been linked to terrorism acts.

b) Jonathan Benthall (Member of MEND, NGO member,anthropologist expert) touched on the issues that it is possible to make a difference in the world through non violence campaigning.
Islam is a peaceful religion which is evidenced in the way we greet each other with Assalamualaikum which means " Peace be upon you ". Due to recent events like 9/11 and the 7/7 London Bombings, Islam is being portrayed as one which promotes violence. By having programs like MEND and educating people on Islam we hope to change that. There have been successful non violent campaigns such as those led by Mahatman Gandhi and Martin Luther King.

c) Lucy Nusseibeh ( Director of MEND ) believes that we can make a difference in changing the situation in the Middle East. Women & children living in the current conflict are facing fear and anxiety every single day. Through MEND, Lucy believes we can offer hope to these people.
Currently, MEND are devoting projects to benfit children and youth in East Jerusalem & West Bank.
Workshops are set up on projects such as conflict resolution, summer camps and participatory videos.

d) Dana Abdul Fattah was one of the children who participated in the projects. She shared her experience with the audience on the activities MEND provided for them. One which Dana particularly enjoyed was the drama workshop where they would perform in front of an audience a drama portraying issues which they are concerned about e.g.domestic violence in the family.
After the drama, they would discuss on possible solutions to the issues.
There is also a radio "soap opera " which has proved popular where youth & children can listen and discuss on issues which affect them most. By having these issues out in the open they can work together in finding the best way to resolve the conflict.

I think this is a great idea. If the children learn from a young age on way to resolve conflicts in a non violent manner, they will be better at controlling the anger and hatred which we see in many of the youths today. This can possibly be linked to the increase in terrorism acts which we see in the news every so often e.g. suicide bombers.

After the talk, I felt inspired that there are people out there who feel that there is still hope for peace and are doing something about it instead of merely talking about it.
I wish MEND the best of luck in their causes and goals! :)

A to Z of friendship

The A - Z of Friendship


A Friend ...

Accepts you as you are.

Believes in you.

Calls you just to say "hi."

Doesn't give up on you.

Envisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts).

Forgives your mistakes.

Gives unconditionally.

Helps you.

Invites you over.

Just likes being with you.

Keeps you close at heart.

Loves you for who you are.

Makes a difference in your life.

Never judges you.

Offers support.

Picks you up.

Quiets your fears.

Raises your spirits.

Says nice things about you.

Tells you the truth when you need to hear it.

Understands you.

Values you.

Walks beside you.

X-plains things you don't understand.

Yells when you won't listen.

Zaps you back to reality.

Raya di London

As I am writing this, I have just come back from attending the takbir raya at Malaysian Hall, London. By reciting takbir raya, I started feeling sad and homesick. This has to be my 4th raya away from the family....

But then, I felt lucky that at least my sis ade di sini and I have friends here who are also spending raya away from home so at least we have each other.

I will be spending my first day of raya at work...I was not lucky enough to get a day off.
It's sad that I won't be able to celebrate raya but then again I take it as just one of the challenges of life.."dugaan hidup"...

I spoke to my loved ones earlier to wish them Selamat Hari Raya and to ask for forgiveness...missing them terribly but insya-allah I will see them soon.

I would like to wish everyone Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri & Maaf Zahir Batin..minta maaf kalau ade tersilap cakap atau buat ye.... :)

2005: Year of Natural Disasters

The year 2005 will be remembered as the "Year of Natural Disasters".

The year started with the Boxing day tsunami which affected the SE regions. The worst affected areas were Sri Lanka, Thailand and Bandar Aceh.
I can still remember seeing the aerial views of Bandar Aceh before and after the disaster.
It was heartbreaking to see how these people lost everything and had to start and build their lives again.


Then, we had Hurricane Katrina which affected New Orleans and the Gulf coast.
It is ironic that during the G8 summit ( before Hurricane Katrina happened) President Bush did not put global warming as its No 1 priority. We can only hope that recent events may change his way of thinking ( well...we can only hope right??!
At the present time, Hurricane Wilma is sweeping across Florida. ( have u guys ever wondered why all these hurricanes are named after woman's names??? )
Could all this be a result of global warming??

We also had the South Asian Earthquake..which had devastating effects on Kashmiri and nearby rural, mountainous regions. Relief aid is still trying to reach these people. Winter is approaching and because of difficulties in distributing aid some of these people may die of cold and hunger.

There have been many discussions on global warming and what we can do about it. World leaders and normal people like you and me should try to understand why these disasters are occuring more often than ever. I think only through understanding the causes of these disasters will we able to tackle and find ways to prevent it. And possibly save lives.

Let us all try to do our bit to save our planet in any small way we can.

Va Va Voom!

Finally, I have decided to get my dream car...the MINI COOPER.
Some people think that I should get another car..especialy if I'm thinking of bringing it back to KL.

"Kalau nak bawak kereta balik Malaysia bawaklah kereta besar sikit...AP tu sekali je..."

Maybe they're right.. but I have wanted this car since it first came out....and at the end of the day it is my choice...

I love the car and what it represents.....stylish, petite yet powerful...(macam moi??!!! )hehehe...

My first ever car was a Perodua Kelisa...miss that little car.
I remember driving it for the first time in KL.. and coping with crazy drivers,motorists and also pedestrians who decide to step on the road at the very last minute!...

When we moved to Sg Buloh, I had to cope driving behind massive lorries and avoiding those horrible potholes. Poor little Kelisa, it did go through a lot in its short life span with me...partly due to the driving conditions and maybe partly due to my driving skills...hehe...

So now the hunt begins for a car...luckily I have someone to help me...

But if anyone knows any good contacts/dealers who are interested in selling used Mini Coopers..do let me know...
It would be greatly appreciated...!

Va Va Voom..........! :)

Blessed Month of Ramadhan

As a little girl, I never really appreciated the spiritual side of Ramadhan..at the time I thought of it as just a month without food and drink during the day. At the end of the month we would all raya sakan and get lots of duit raya and good food.

It has only been in the last few years I've started to appreciate more of the spiritual sense of this holy month we call Ramadhan.
My most memorable Ramadhan to date was after graduation when I went back home for a year before starting work in UK.

It was my first time spending raya & puasa with the family after a LONG while...
How I miss it..my mom would wake up everyone and make hot drinks for everyone but it was usually just me & my dad who would have something to eat for sahur. In the evenings, we would berbuka bersama and go for tarawih prayers as a family.


When I was back home in Malaysia, throughout the whole month a new English show was being aired on Al-Jazeera for the first time called "Parables of Qur'an ". It was hosted by a guy called Moez Masoud. The idea of the show was simple...every day Moez would discuss a parable from the Qur'an with a group of young men & women.

What made this show interesting was that Moez was not a preacher or ulamak of any kind. He is a normal guy like you and me who have made mistakes in life and may have been on the wrong path at some point of our lives but with Allah's guidance managed to get back to the straight path.

The guests on his shows are open minded & intellectual modern people and in each parable Moez gets each guests to relate the parable from the Qur'an to their own experiences. Audience of the show (myself included) would be able to relate to the experiences shared by the guests in one way or another.

In the modern society that we live in today, there are many young Muslims out there who are lost, feel out of place and do not feel the Qur'an has any relevance to the world we live in today. But Moez's show was able to highlight the fact that the Qur'an and its beautiful verses are as relevant today as it was when it was brought down to us all those thousands of years ago.

The show had an impact on the way I looked at my life and Moez is a true inspiration to all young Muslims. I wish there would be more shows like this . In Malaysia there are many religious shows but I don't know whether their traditional approach is able to inspire young Muslims like Moez's shows can. There should be more shows like his.

Keep up the good work Moez!

Happy Ramadhan Al -Mubarak to all Muslims around the world!

The idea of success...

"Success is the ability to go from one failure from another with no loss of enthusiasm".-Sir Winston Churchill.

Isn't it a great quote? I found it on a famous quotes website.

When I was growing up failure has never been an option..I set myself certain goals and hope to achieve them.

But as I grew older, life isn't as smooth sailing as we hoped it would be and I had to learn how to deal with failures in my life....

Life is full of sacrifices and having to make the best out of the opportunities given to us.

I have gone through some low points in my life where I have felt lost and at times thought I was a failure. During these times I'm blessed to find out who my real friends are and get support from people who are closest to me.

There have also been high points in my life where I feel like I'm on cloud nine. I guess we have to cherish these moments as it makes all that bitter pain beforehand all worthwhile.

I'm sure there will be more high and low points in my life but I guess it all depends on how we handle them.

Time Traveler's Wife-Audrey Niffenegger

You might classify this as a science fiction book but then again you might think of it as a love story.Either way , this book is fabulous!

Clare (6 yrs old ) met the love of her life Henry (36 yrs old). Claire married Henry when she was 22 and Henry was 30. Confused?!

Well.. Henry is a time traveller who suffers from a genetic condition where he finds himself pulled into his past or future. Henry's favourite place is visiting Claire in the meadows behind her house in her younger years where they first fell in love.

The story follows how the couple cope with Henry's condition and how they try to lead a "normal" life . Claire grows up waiting to meet Henry in "real time". When Claire met him, Claire knew parts of Henry's future of which he did not yet experienced.

Henry becomes older and learns more about his condition and enlists the help of geneticist Dr Kendring but it proved to be unsuccessful and we find out how he copes with his condition.

Time Traveler's Wife touches on many issues:

Firstly, the idea that as humans we often wonder what if we could turn back time and experience things we wish we could. Henry's mother died when he was a little boy in a car accident and he would often time travel into the past to see his mother when she was still alive. Although he can travel into the past he could not change destiny and prevent his mother from dying in the accident.

Secondly, the idea of religion and believing in God. In the story Claire was brought up in a Christian family who practised Christian values but she starts doubting the idea of God as she grew older as events start to unfold around her...e.g. her mother's death, her miscarriages.

Thirdly, can people ever move on with their lives after the loss of a loved one? We learn about Henry's dad who never recovered from the loss of his mother.

Lastly, we can't help wanting Henry & Claire to have a happy ending in the story. Claire spent her whole life waiting for Henry knowing perfectly well that Henry may not be around forever. She was willing to take that risk in order to spend the precious little moments she had with Henry.

I couldn't help wondering whether we can ever find love this strong in our real lives today? How do you know when you meet someone that he will be the one you would like to spend the rest of your life with? And how do you cope with life when that certain someone is gone forever?

Love conquers all.

My first BBQ

This weekend, I had some friends stay over at my place for my first mini BBQ in Slough.

It was my first weekend after the exams and it was nice not having to open those dreaded books for a while yet...

We got one of those disposable BBQ set. Opie, Meddy & Lini helped me set up the BBQ...the food was great! Nothing beats sitting outside enjoying a good BBQ on a hot summer's day.
If only there were more summer days like these...


It was good to lepak at home and not have to worry about studying for the day.

We lepak outside followed on by ice cream and a movie session.
All in all I think it turned out to be a success!

Next time I plan to have satay & ikan bakar...BBQ ...Malaysian style..
Only problem is ..where and how am I gonna make satay pulak...
Hehehe..Any volunteers???

Cricket-A Boring Game?

I will be the first one to admit..
I have never understood why people watch cricket.. until today.

Before this, I've never actually given the game a chance.

I would often quickly switch to another tv channel whenever the cricket was on.

So why should it be any different now?
If I was to be really honest, there was nothing else on tv and I needed a tv-break from studying.

The English players are currently doing well in the Ashes series ( England vs Australia ) and some of them aren't actually that bad looking. :)

Today was the 3rd day of the 4th series test and it was (surprisingly!) an exciting game.
I have a lot of respect for the bowlers especially Flintoff and S Jones. I didn't realise bowling could be fun to watch especially when they try to get the "wickets" ( when they get the batsman out i.e a strike out in baseball's terms)

For those of you who were sceptical like I was before..have a go at watching the Ashes. It's more than about two people running up and down and more than a game of rounders.

For the girls...even if you don't quite get the game some of the guys are quite cute too.. :)

Home is where the heart is

I miss waking up in my room in SB

I miss having breakfast with my dad and saying goodbye to him b4 he goes to work

I miss my little grey Kelisa

I miss not having to think about when I have to catch my next bus or train to work

I miss arguing with my mom over the most randomnest things

I miss my little squarrels with my sis

I miss lepaking at Hartamas and having the bestest mi rebus ever

I miss our family gatherings usually at PJ and how we always come up with any excuse for a makan2

I miss our friends gathering and catching up with the latest gossip over coffee/dinner

I miss the mamak stalls and having tose & teh tarik

I miss having brunch at FAM to have mi kari

I miss my kickboxing classes at Hartamas

I miss my chats with Kak nor

I miss being with the family especially since Nuqman arrived

I miss watching Korean/Japanese dramas on TV3

I miss going to Rahman Putra and going to the gym

Followed by a snack afterwards usually soya bean cincau and rojak buah :)

I miss not having to think about whether I should bring a jacket or an umbrella to go out

Home is definitely where the heart is.....................

My little nephew

Today my sis has finally emailed me a pic of little Nuqman and Ucop has also recently been kind enough to have taken some more pics of him. Kesian tengok Nuqman kena pakai all those tubes. The latest news is he is out of ICU now and hopefully will be able to go home soon! Alhamdulillah he is getting better and the doctors have done a good job :)

Aunty Wati will see u soon Nuqman....

Till then........................

Family update

Yesterday morning, there was a new addition to the CheNik clan: a baby boy called Mohd Izz Nuqman bin Mohd Razifuddin.
I got a text from Abang around 2am...I was so excited I called him straightaway.
When I talked to Abang on the phone, I think he was still overwhelmed with the idea that he is now a father.

My little nephew was actually due to come out on the 20th Aug but I guess dah tak sabar to join us kot....
Currently, Nuqman is in ICU because he caught a lung infection and is being monitored by doctors. All of us are worried right now and we pray Nuqman will get through this. I wish I was back home with the family at this moment in time...............

British way of life....

Today I read in the newspapers on a poll conducted by the BBC whether the majority of British people think multiculturalism makes the country a better place.
The poll results were 32% think it threatens " British way of life " and 54% think parts of the country doesn't feel like Britain anymore because of immigration.

I thought to myself what is " the British way of life "?? Some might describe the British way of life constitute two main things...drinking and football.

At my workplace, a typical Friday night would be everyone heads down the pub to chill out after a long working week. My colleagues would often find any excuse for a celebration down the pub...i.e. promotions or leaving drinks ke...
As someone who does not drink, this is not my ideal way to spend my Friday night but as part of working life you have to show your face once in a while to one of these leaving drinks.

Other people may disagree and believe British life is not all about drinking and football. During my time in UK, I have met different types of people here. Not everyone enjoys watching football in the pubs all the time. I know a few British guys who are not interested in football or would only watch the World Cup or Champions League. There are some friends of mine who would rather go for a nice enjoyable dinner with a few friends rather than being in a smoky pub and getting wasted!

I think we can't stereotype a British way of life..it is diverse and unique.
An example of such diversity can be described even in the food as Chicken Tikka Massala has been voted as Britain's favourite dish. How ironic is that??!

Ode to a stranger

My life is brilliant.

My love is pure.

I saw an angel.

Of that I'm sure.

He smiled at me on the train.

But I ain't got a plan.

You're so handsome.

You're so handsome

You're so handsome it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded place

And I don't know what to do,

'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, he caught my eye,As we walked on by.

He could see from my face that I was,flying high,

And I don't think that I'll see him again,

But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

There must be an angel

When she thought up that I should be with you.

But it's time to face the truth,I will never be with you

My "edited " version of James Blunt's song " You're Beautiful "

Trip to Torquay

The only thing I love about my job is the people I work with and the chance to travel to places I would probably never think of going to visit ( all expenses paid!). This week, I've been working in Torquay situated on the South West of England.
We were lucky with the weather as it was a warm and sunny week. ( amazing considering how unpredictable British weather is like! )

I went to Torquay with my work colleague Bev. We were pleasantly surprised to be there...it was like the British version of the " French Riviera ". After work, we decided to walk along the Torquay Harbour. The town was buzzing with people and it was nice walking along the harbour. There were old couples sitting by the dock watching the world go by, there were families with little kids running around eating their ice creams and there were young couples strolling along the harbour.

I would just love to have a place along the seaside...imagine waking up in the morning smelling the fresh breeze of the sea..........

Torquay was very hilly...our hotel was just a 15 min walk to the beach yet it felt like 30 min walk because we had to walk up a very steep hill every morning but we didn't complain. It was good exercise after the breakfast we had every morning!

Bev had to go back to London on Wed night but I had to stay on until the end of the week to finish off the work. I didn't mind though...

I took the train from Torquay which would pass through Exeter before going back up towards Reading.
The weather was great and the views from the train were fabulous. I took the opportunity to take a few snapshots from the train...

It was one of the best views of the coast I have ever seen.
As the train passed by, kids from the beach were waving at us and making sandcastles...I felt like jumping off and joining them...hehehe

It has been an amazing week...I would definitely love to go and discover more amazing places like this one.......

These are a couple of snapshots I managed to take whilst I was on the train. Sorry...it's a bit out of focus....the train was whizzing along as I was taking the pictures.










My fav pic from the train...:)

Let's make a change

Selected Excerpts from 2pac's (Tupac Shakur ) song- " Changes "

We gotta start makin' changes learn to see me as a brother instead of 2 distant strangers
and that's how it's supposed to be
How can the Devil take a brother if he's close to me?
I'd love to go back to when we played as kids but things changed,
and that's the way it is

That's just the way it is
Things'll never be the same
That's just the way it is

I see no changes all I see is racist faces
misplaced hate makes disgrace to races
We under I wonder what it takes to make this one better place, let's erase the wasted
Take the evil out the people they'll be acting right'
cause both black and white is smokin' crack tonight
and only time we chill is when we kill each other
it takes skill to be real, time to heal each other

We gotta make a change...
It's time for us as a people to start makin' some changes.
Let's change the way we eat,
let's change the way we live
and let's change the way we treat each other.

You see the old way wasn't working so
it's on us to dowhat we gotta do, to survive.

London-In shock

It started out to be a normal working day for many commuters like myself.

I arrived at Paddington station around 8.45 am oblivious to what would happen next.

The tubes were packed as usual.

I arrived at Embankment station 9.09 am totally unaware that there had been a blast at Aldgate East station.

As I got on the district line tube to Blackfriars, we were told that there were delays on the line. We were stuck in the tube for about 30-40mins..the tube driver told us it was related to the power failure. Most people were unaware that there had just been 2 other explosions on the tube and an explosion on the no 30 bus near Tavistock Place, Russell Square.

The carriage moved in what I can only describe as "jerking movements".

The driver managed to get the front of the carriage to the nearest platform on Blackfriars station. We were then told to move up to the front of the carriage in order to safely get out of the station.

Alhamdulillah, I was one of the lucky ones and I am grateful for that.

As I arrived in the office, my colleagues were on the internet for updates on what had happened. The mobile network was down as everyone was trying to contact their loved ones.

The Met office told everyone working in the City that we were in security alert. We were told to stay put and not to go out for a few hours.

Everyone was shocked ( myself included ) in what happened today.

We left the office early around 3.45pm trying to make our way back home. Bus services and tubes had not yet resumed at the time therefore most people made their way on foot to the nearest railway station.

I made my way to Waterloo station by foot with my friend. It was eery to see that there were no familiar double decker red buses and masses of people walking on foot across the Waterloo Bridge.

I managed to get a train to Reading and made my way back to Slough. Although it took me three hours to get home, I consider myself very lucky compared to what other people had to go through today.

London

London has been in the media spotlight this week: firstly it was the Live 8 concert (which was wicked!) at Hyde Park and today London won the 2012 Olympic bid.

Despite it's unreliable tubes and pollution, I've grown to love London with its people and the 'buzz of the city'.
Even after 5 years in London I'm still discovering new spots around London which is great. My fav part of London is the London Eye.The view of London Eye in the shuttle on a clear day is spectacular.

We heard London won the Olympic bid in the office around 12.45pm via the help of some of my colleagues who logged onto the BBC website to hear the live telecast. After the announcement we saw the Red Arrows team fly over our office...spectacular display! Celebrations had already started early at Trafalgar Square and they will still be partying throughout the night.

The majority of us were pleasantly surprised although there were still a few pessimists who think London can never host the event.

Maybe they will finally fix the London public transport ( long overdue! ) once and for all.
I don't know whether I will still be in London in 2012...but it will be interesting to see how the city will be transformed in the next 7 years..... Let's hope the change will be for the better..

Where do I go from here?

Since results came out last Friday, I have been thinking about my life and where do I go from here.

At the moment I feel fed up..I have put all my effort to succeed and at times I feel as though nothing is coming out of it. It's as if someone up above is telling me that maybe this isn't for me..and maybe I should start thinking about doing something else.

I feel I've been here too long..I have seen friends come and go and I'm practically a 'veteran' here in London.

I know the most 'logical' thing would be to stick with it for another year but I don't know whether I can keep up with it anymore.

At times, I feel I'm wasting my years here doing something I'm not even passionate about. I'm also losing out spending time with my family who I do not see very often. I think I have spent about roughly 15 yrs of my life abroad already...Do I want to spend more of my time here??

A friend advised that I should stick with it to the end...if not I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I know the advice is right. The only thing is I need to have the motivation to keep going..and I don't know if I have that at the moment.

The weekend has been good...did some retail therapy on Saturday and watched Live 8 but Monday is coming..and I have to face the world and make my decision........

An advice that was given to me was this:

" Failure is just a speedbump..not the end of the road.
Your journey is what u make of it..
Put life in perspective ..decide what you want to do in
life and what you would do in order to have the satisfaction in
life"

I hope that I make the right decision.....