Thoughts....
Ever since I was born, I have led what could be associated as a nomadic lifestyle following my dad around. Making new friends and travelling all around the world may seem exciting to some people but it isn’t as glamorous as it seems.
I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the travelling and meeting new people but I found it difficult to discover who I was and what I stood for. Maybe everyone went through a similar thing. Some researchers have said that we only really discover and be comfortable who we are when we reach our 30s & 40s…hmmm that would mean I’m still learning and have a LONG way to go.
As a little girl growing up in a foreign country, living abroad and being different from everyone else was difficult. Throughout most of my childhood years abroad, I was the only Malaysian girl in my class. Trying to fit in with people similar to my age and maintaining my culture and values was difficult. It wasn’t easy combining Western culture and Eastern culture together. Some things I did better than others.
Moving from place to place made it harder for me to fully trust people other than my family. It was difficult getting close to people when I know that I might be moving to another school in another town or country.
Studying in London for university enabled me to develop more of my Malaysian identity by meeting friends who I know some of them will be friends for life. It was hard at first to fit in being the Malaysian who lived abroad-people sometimes can be judgmental and have a stigma of ‘budak melayu duduk overseas’.
But that’s when you discover who your real friends are and meet people who can just accept you for who you are.
I wasn’t perfect and probably will never be but I still try to do the best I can and try to keep to the values which I think are important.
Working in London has meant seeing people come and go… and it is still difficult for me to trust and get close to people because I know that by the time I get close it will be time for them to leave.
2008 may be the year where big decisions will be made and maybe I can finally feel settled, be happy and not have to move around anymore. Insya-allah….
I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the travelling and meeting new people but I found it difficult to discover who I was and what I stood for. Maybe everyone went through a similar thing. Some researchers have said that we only really discover and be comfortable who we are when we reach our 30s & 40s…hmmm that would mean I’m still learning and have a LONG way to go.
As a little girl growing up in a foreign country, living abroad and being different from everyone else was difficult. Throughout most of my childhood years abroad, I was the only Malaysian girl in my class. Trying to fit in with people similar to my age and maintaining my culture and values was difficult. It wasn’t easy combining Western culture and Eastern culture together. Some things I did better than others.
Moving from place to place made it harder for me to fully trust people other than my family. It was difficult getting close to people when I know that I might be moving to another school in another town or country.
Studying in London for university enabled me to develop more of my Malaysian identity by meeting friends who I know some of them will be friends for life. It was hard at first to fit in being the Malaysian who lived abroad-people sometimes can be judgmental and have a stigma of ‘budak melayu duduk overseas’.
But that’s when you discover who your real friends are and meet people who can just accept you for who you are.
I wasn’t perfect and probably will never be but I still try to do the best I can and try to keep to the values which I think are important.
Working in London has meant seeing people come and go… and it is still difficult for me to trust and get close to people because I know that by the time I get close it will be time for them to leave.
2008 may be the year where big decisions will be made and maybe I can finally feel settled, be happy and not have to move around anymore. Insya-allah….
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